I was never convinced. How could that possibly be? The media emphasized frat tradition in general—hazing, public humiliations, and a lot of tricks—which they rather refer as disciplinary actions to test the determination of an aspiring member. They have the most painful way to screen applicants. They perform the most risky way of training the member on how to value the brotherhood. To “be one of them” is a risk of life. Why should I join if I can be a woman of success without undergoing painful processes? I was rather challenged to become the “independent”—because I simply don't need them.
So I swore not to join. Besides, I was never the kind of a “sis material”—a soon-to-be member connotes being popular, dynamic, and sociable. They have certain qualities I never had. Thus, I was never invited.
To make the story short, I wasn’t completely right. I was in a graduate school when I appreciate the life of a Frat-Man after I attended orientation program. Being a frat man wasn’t perfect, it has its own flaws but fraternity is not like what the media have shown the public.
Let me tell you…
The first four is about the obvious “Instant-all-you-got”
1. Instant companions. It is quite an obvious fact that you will be provided with this kind of opportunity. “feeling-close system”—it will always appear that you have known each other for a long time despite the fact that you only met a minute ago. To become comfortable with people you have met for the first time is a great experience.
|An hour after I survived :)|
2. Instant social life (expect get together, road trips, parties and a lot more). Life become social in nature, but that does not only imply drink and party alone. Everything serves a purpose. Being social means allowing you to meet new people—a healthy way to live your life. A chance to get out from your comfort zone.
3. Instant popularity (the moment they’ll find out everyone will be asking you of HOW?!? WHY?!? WHEN?!? WHAT?!?)
4. Instant activities. Fraternities are customarily engaged in community services which is truly a noble thing to do.
5. The feeling that “I am being protected”. You will gain more confident because you know someone is there for you, someone will protect you, and most of all someone will support you no matter how crazy you are. Of course this comes with a consequence, frat will protect you in troubles but the moment they’ll find out it’s your fault then you’ll be subjected to a well-deserve disciplinary action. Why? because a brotherhood means helping you to become a better person.
|Back off! I have brothers to protect me.. hehe|
6. A learning process is available. You will learn a lot inside the circle. Learning process doesn’t end up the moment you survived and the time you became an official member. Learning is spontaneous. A fraternity circle is like a little world. You’ll meet a lot of members from different walks of life and you will learn how to deal with them. It’s a must. Fraternity have policies and procedures to follow—living in a small world that prepares you to face the great and real world.
7. A chance to excel. Yes. This is true. brotherhood stresses excellent because they have expectations for members. And the mere fact that you desire to become the fraternity’s asset is a good motivation to excel because you know someone is going to be proud of you aside from your biological family.
8. You will become a leader. Leadership is not an opportunity but an obligation. It is something that is readily available to all the members. Each member has equal chance to assume a role.
9. You will learn how to work/interact well with others. This is possible while planning/organizing one of the events. To be inside a fraternity circle is a good practice on how to deal with other people.
10. Experience a “home away from home” environment. Fraternity is not about friendship. It is more of a family. When you argue with members, you are obliged to compromise. The men and women you’ll be calling sis and brods will be the ones to provide guidance when you are struggling. Believe me, there will always be someone who will sacrifice their time just to be with you even in the middle of night especially when you are in trouble. There will be someone who will take care of you, someone who will open door of their houses for you. This common bond will be with you for your life.
Anyways, be responsible enough. Don't join just to show-off with friends and become popular. To become a member is a lifetime responsibility.