May 30, 2011

Good bye



My dear,

I'm supposed to write a letter that could inspire your day. I remember the day I promised myself to never let you feel sad…to never start your day bad just because I am feeling bad… because we are here to inspire each other’s lives...

But today my dear, I woke up feeling empty—
I am neither happy nor sad.


*sigh*
A sigh because the feeling is actually a well-defined one...


The truth is I’m wearing my other face to mask the reality.
I should be keeping this myself but allow me to be honest for once.
Allow me to say that I don’t want to feel what I’m feeling. I was trying to ignore the fact that I was brought by the emptiness to a place where I forbid myself to go. I found myself adrift the space of promises that made me feel unsatisfied to where I am to an extent of feeling discontented with what we are having.  I wanted to ignore the reality and trick myself to change what I feel (that’s why I said I’m neither happy nor sad) but the pain stabs so bad enough. Forgive me for this is not the life I wanted.

I said it was the happiest…
I promised to cherish the memory we created and we’ll create more of a lasting memory that could inspire both of us…
I was wrong…
It wasn’t easy and I’m not seeing any worth to keep this relationship any further…
I’m a weak. I was scared, I trembled until I lose grip…
I can no longer hold on because I can’t find the reason why I should…
Still, I hope to be reminded with because I love you…

But my dear, if saying good byes were destined…Let it be.
We don’t have to wait for us to be broken…
We don’t need to  feel the pain so to push each other…
All we need is just the word “Good bye”…as good as it is…
Let us allow happy thoughts to linger as we make our own ways…
Let's part our ways bringing happy memories with us because I wished to be in a place someday remembering all those times…

P.S.
Our bows had been in silent...
I hope that would make things easier.
I'll always love you

May 28, 2011

Because I have to walk away

I found myself walking alongside a busy aisle…
Everyday faces having familiar voices…
I seem to be lost in crowd but I am not…
I’m certain with each step that I took…

I know which way to go…
I’m sure of my steps…
I have seen no one to follow…
So I make my own…

I walk as slowly as I could…
Looking intently on all the things around and beside me,
Trying at my very least to identify a single ground

No one talks but I hear voices from all over the place I barely comprehend
Crowded but I feel no one…
So plain…in a simplest form of illusion

I saw one man holding a promise of good life
Once…our paths had crossed…
Our eyes once again meet…
But gone were the smiles once worn…
Meaningless….

And we walk on our own ways without leaving a word…
the silence we just made was empty...

Sometimes walking away speaks it all…
and the footprints could define them...

Short…fast… and shallow breaths…
I walk as many steps as I could…
I seem to be in a search,
in the middle of the crowd…

I don’t have to stay…
I don’t have to wait…
I can't...
I have to live...
I have to walk away…

May 25, 2011

Buhos pa ulan...

Alas dos y media ng madaling araw. Sana man lang ay may kape...


*buntong hininga*
*bumangon mula sa pagkakahiga*
*Sinara ang bintana*
*isa pang buntong hininga* 
Bumuhos ang napakalakas na ulan na para bang wala ng bukas. Bigla kong naisip si "Chedeng" ang bagyong inaasahan at pinaghahandaan ng nakakarami "Andito na kaya sya?". Perosa kabilang banda "Di pala ako sigurado kung kasama sa itinerary nya ang pagdaan dito sa lugar namin". 


*buntong hininga* 
*bumalik sa pagkakahiga*
*Niyakap ang unan*
*pinakinggan ang ulan*
*isa pang buntong hininga habang nakatitig sa nakasarang bintana*


Ang bawat patak ng ulan ay onti-onting nagbukas sa isang pinto kung saan nakahimlay lahat ng mga bagay na pilit kong isinantabi... mga bagay na alam ko sa sarili ko ay nakatakda naman naa maging bahagi na ng aking buhay. Mga pagbabago...  

*buntong hininga*

Patuloy ang pagbuhos ng ulan... dumagsa ang mga katanungang paulit-ulit kong itinatanong sa aking sarili sa kagustuhan ko na sana ay mabago ang sagot.

*Isa pang buntong hininga* 

Tuluyan na ngang nabasag ang katahimikan... 



Source: behance.net via Cristy on Pinterest


May 24, 2011

Bigger and Wider


So... this is me getting bigger and bigger plus wider each passing month...
I got three more months left which actually means more months to gain weight...
Very frustrating...


May 23, 2011

A boy?... A girl?...

I’m eleven days earlier my appointment.

My non-productive cough got on the nerves of my mother that prompted “her” to consult me to a doctor. So to make the consultation story short, the doctor advised me to just rinse my throat with a saline solution since she found no significant findings upon auscultation—that cost me 250php already.

At least my visit served my prenatal-check as well which mean I don’t have to come back in the next two weeks anymore as scheduled. So! I am now weighing 60 kilograms and my fundal height measures 19cm. The doctor said it seems I was the only one gaining weight, not my baby. According her, I may be adequate on size but I don’t fit with the average 27-week old pregnant. I don’t really understand her. She always comes with “but’s and then’s” and after that will eventually tell me “You’re doing good, there is nothing to worry about”. I think I’ll never have a chance to like her.

In any way, I’m still looking forward to pay her a visit next month. I’m counting down the days! It’s because next month will be the month that I am going to know my baby’s gender. Cheers for that!!! Two out of ten people I know said I’m having a boy; the rest believed it’s a girl. Let us wait until next month then.

I am excited at the same time scared. Why? It’s because all this time I was bothered by the possibility of my baby to have some structural deformities.  I never knew, I never seen my baby developed…all I know is that my baby is alive and kicking. Is that enough?

Until next month… I'm praying for my baby’s good health. 

May 21, 2011

Almost over with wander-wonder years...



It’s been a good rest… a year of wander-wonder. I went to places where I hope I can find myself then marvel on whether becoming a physician can satisfy my existence. It’s quite a long time. I am also bored; I hoped everyone is aware of that.

I already made my decision on going back to med school the soonest I can but for all we know things had already changed around and within me. My decisions already depend on things beyond my control, not just on my own will unlike before. If my parents are still willing to support my studies then that will be good; If I am capable of becoming a good mother and a good student at the same time then it will be better. 

I am honestly missing the days of pursuing dreams. But if it is not really for me, I am also open to every possibilities life could offer. What really matters for me is to start again which is somewhat complicated to make but at least possible to do.


May 19, 2011

Si Nanay

I used to call her Nanay...like everyone does.

She is my Aunt actually, my mother’s eldest sister. The person behind my mother's success in life as I was always told, "hindi ako makakapagtapos ng aking pag-aaral kung wala si Manang" hmm...that part is a long story. I'm not going into details.

Earlier, I wanted to talk here not as one of her niece but as a person who sees her as a good individual. I wanted to go out of the circle for once and will speak as another person… but I realized that won’t change anything because I think that we all look up at Nanay in just the same way whether we're part of her family or not.
Me, Nanay, and Mama
She is not a potential saint which in her conviction there is none. Being a born Adventist she doesn’t worship anyone other than God in heaven—so I guessed it won’t make her feel good if I considered her a future saint because we should not worship anyone other than God (One lesson from her). That’s why I’m hot going to worship her…if it happens that by the end of this post her name will be uplifted then that is just because she deserves a good testimonial.

It is in her nature to help the needy. She has the ability give, the power to bend her back, and has the talent to sacrifice.

Ask Nanay to make you a dress—you’ll have it in no time. She made me hundred of dresses already since I was little (From casual to school uniforms, party dresses, Prom gowns, etc.) and I am thankful for that although there were times I despise her style, still I wore all of them. Ask Nanay to pray for you—she’ll be singing songs of praises too. Ask Nanay for knowledge and wisdom—she’ll guide you to come close to God to attain that.

Experience wise, I’m pretty sure she made it through a lot of hard times. That’s why she understands. That’s why she helps. That’s why she sings amidst the trouble… I bet she been through one horror after another. She has a lot of untold stories that made her that good and that strong. 

Her life today can tell...no one will argue but everyone will agree.
The balloon that symbolizes the desire of each family member--They will fly as high as they can together
Today in her 70th birthday (having 5 children, 12 grandchildren, and 3 great grandchildren on her side) Nanay is a picture of a contented happy woman.

Very Inspiring...

Seeing her smile today, I can’t help but to wonder whom to consider lucky. Is it Nanay for having a successful family or her family being raised by Nanay thus became successful? I guess both sides feel exactly just the same—proud of each other.

My mother decorated this cupcakes and cakes for Nanay...

I'm kind of a big deal, but not actually.. hehehe
I just wanted to show I'm also proud being part of the family

May 14, 2011

~99 days left



Today is good, much better than the previous. 

I’m not happy but at least I have no reason to feel sad. Well, there is actually… I rather choose not to be. 

My distress lies on whether if I can deliver my child normally. In which I am quite confident that I can although chances are… I have no idea what exactly will happen to me in the next three months.*crossed-fingers* (Prayers for good things along our journey)


I'm spending my days doing nothing here inside my four-sided room (aside from chatting with online buddies in the hope to free myself from boredom) while my partner on the other side of the world does everything that he can to earn a little for our expenses. Pleaded guilty for this but there is nothing I can do anyway, I can’t insist myself to make money as much as I wanted to help. 

We worry if we can afford to pay hospital bills and if we can provide our baby’s needs. I guess this is what it takes when you’re not prepared. Surprise! But instead of feeling sad I’m trying to convince myself everything will just be fine and will set the way we wanted. I know we can. We’re not geared up but that doesn’t mean we should feel bad  and regret. 

It is worth worrying... worth waiting... worth everything...


Everything is good.
 

A cup of Hot Caramel Macchiato for me!

The Third Place

It’s not home.
It’s not workplace.
It’s that special place between where we meet to awaken our senses, to find inspiration, and to make tasting connections.
 (Starbucks Coffee)
Source: google.com via Cristy on Pinterest

Coffee is always the first thing I could ever think of whenever I wanted to break free.  It is so powerful that it can bring me back to the old world where I fit in—unruffled. The smell it provides can steer me to a promising escapade.

And until now it still amazes me each time I think of those moments back when I used to call my coffee buddies so I can have someone to share my worries with--I used to asked for some small talk. Then the moment the coffee is served in front of me it seems it automatically drive away all the sadness. That simple. So the rest of the hours will be spent on catching-ups and chit-chat and there will be no more melodramatic talks. It is constantly serve with magic.  Every cup can make ordinary moments turned into something wonderful.

This doesn’t mean I crave for coffee only when I’m sad. I can spend a whole day motionless as long as I am served with a cup of coffee. A day seems incomplete without having a sip of coffee in the morning. Night seems not over without it also.

I’m a coffee lover and I can have any kind of coffee anytime and anywhere I wanted. Life is so simple; an aroma of it can make me smile, a sip of it can make my day, a cup of it keeps me going. I love it especially on rainy days…in the morning…in the afternoon… at night… while alone… with friends…right now…

Indeed, all I ever think of these past days is a cup Caramel Macchiato and java chips served with cinnamon swirl.

I am so missing those old good times when my friends and I stayed out late at night for a coffee date. 


May 13, 2011

Blogger...down


This is a scheduled post.
The status update posted on the 12th said that the site will be on a read-only mode because they’re trying to resolve maintenance issues. Sadly, the inconvenience lasts like until forever. On the 13th, sometime in the afternoon, they announced that “in order to get Blogger back to normal, all posts since 7:37am PDT on Weds, 5/11 have been temporarily removed”.



I was alarmed so I copied all my blog entries to a Microsoft OneNote as my back up if in case of serious corruption. Besides, one of my pages was already deleted. What would you expect me to feel? My blog isn’t good but they are all important to me. I was thinking of transferring to wordpress.com instead but I realized that is too much of trouble. Besides, I always considered the site only for advance and more serious writers. I personally find blogger.com as friendly user and comfortable to work with.

So is this Friday the 13thall about? By superstition it holds a day of bad luck. Well, blogger’s status of being down is quite a proof I think (perfect coincidence, huh!).

On the 13th, I had my paper and my pen with me taking down all the things I wanted to tell. The day is very frustrating. Every single thing around me is annoying; noise, screams of people, slums of the door are all getting into my nerves. The chikka messenger I’ve been using now says “we are currently working on making this carrier/country available”. There is an error on yahoo messenger. My laptop won’t start also. The last thing I did was pressed the restart button to cool down in the hope that it could help speed up the internet connection.

I want blogger back! I want my laptop on!

May 11, 2011

Love... Love... Love...

A lot of us think that expressing one’s care by words is juvenile. I am one of them. 

What I'm just trying to point out is that there are a lot of important things to talk about than exchanging sweet nothings which has nothing to do with your day but to make you feel good for a minute or two. It may bring you to euphoric state but won’t take you any farther. It may inspire you a little bit but not completely. It will get you boosted to do daily tasks, motivate you to feel good about yourself but that’s just it. As the old saying goes "action speaks louder than words". And action we mean that  in a responsible way.

There are a lot of ways to spice up a relationship...

Source: topit.me via Cristy on Pinterest


(I will not talk against sweet nothings because I believe in them. I love hearing them.  Again, I just don't put so much importance with it like every minute should be spend with such sweetness, that could bore a relationship)

I find it pretty awkward to tell the world out loud that I am in love and I am missing someone. I am not the kind of a person who talks about her partner all day with her friends. 

Being a melodramatic is already my nature but to express this kind of good emotion is way different when expressing love out of a broken relationship. The reason why I seldom write about how good being in love is. Most of my posts then talks about the other side of love like  break-ups and pains.

I hate when I am asked to talk about my love or when somebody accuses me of denying details of my own love life. Denying is a very different story. Yes, I may at times talk that I am comfortable being single despite the fact that I am in a relationship. I find it decent to claim my relationship status being single. Anyway, in legal papers you can be either be single or married or widowed. There is no such thing as "in-a-relationship", "It's complicated", "in-a-love-triangle" and so on.

I realized that stating a relationship status is not so important (but still it is). When you’re good you don’t actually have to label your better half as your boyfriend or as your girlfriend because as long as you do relate with issues then be it. You can be together and their will be this silent vows that will assure you of loyalty. Words, may it be uttered or written in a piece of paper is not enough. Everybody can sign a paper, everybody can talk, but not everybody can be real with what they feel. 

Sometimes some of us chooses to go public not because we are proud of ourselves for having a good partners but to rather assure ourselves that everyone around us is informed that we are already taken and they should not be disturbing us anymore. A sort of insecurity.

I’ve been there. Some tend to become showy, those we labelled as Public Display of Affection type of lovers. When I was younger I used to be one of the PDA type not because I wanted my partner to feel me but because I wanted to tell the world that my partner is my own— that no one should come near him. I have fallen so mad that I made him my world, and the moment his gone I found myself floating in space because I lost my world. That was funny. It’s not that I don’t want to repeat the same experience of behaving like a 24/7 guard-on-duty kind of a girlfriend. 

I think it would be unfair not to express anymore just because of the past. The issue lies not as to whether you are proud enough to show affection in public but on how you show it to the right person.

It’s not that I don't want to show love. It's the mere fact that  it’s not the people around me I love and I’m missing so why should I tell them? It's not them and it's not my obligation to get them updated. I learned a better way. Talk to the person directly because it is not everybody’s business to hear and see how you love each other. 

What really matters most is to show the person you love how much you love them.

May 10, 2011

Thirty Five Minutes Gone

I have exactly thirty five minutes before the day is over. I’ve been lying all alone in my bed for hours trying to get a good sleep but then was disturbed by some creepy thoughts. The current condition out here is not a picture perfect but still can be pictured out; All lights are gone, the music stopped playing, the television been turned off, all I hear is nothing but silence. With this awareness of how dark my surrounding is, I feel like I’m nowhere to be found. All I could ever see outside this room is dark just exactly what I feel inside me. From within I can sense how big the universe is, boundless.

I’m somewhere there. Can you see me amidst the sparkling dots? Maybe the smallest one...or perhaps you can no longer see me at all because everyone’s glow darkens mine. 

The big world makes me feel smaller than I am.

Source: None via Cristy on Pinterest


I am being embraced by loneliness. I’m totally disarrayed to pick the right reason to be happy. I’m blinded by everyone’s glimmer, so blinded not to appreciate my own spark anymore.

Yet I’m a fool if I’ll say I had no reason to smile because I know I have a lot around me. I’m lost. I appear to be missing one precious thing.

I have thirty five more minutes (maybe already lessened by now) to complete one mission tonight: To be freed and to break-away from what is current.

Let me see…

Aside from watching movies aired on HBO and Star Movies I was busy updating my social network accounts. As you can see, I am good-for-nothing spending most of my days talking to random people about random things by just sitting inside my room.

I am busy with pinterest. As they say, re-pinning is such a fun reminder of the clothes you’ll never afford, the home d├ęcor that will never fit into a small room, the recipes and crafts you’re too lazy to make, the saying you wasn’t clever enough to think of your own, and the photos you wish you had taken but didn’t. The only good thing I can see in this site is that the feeling brought by someone who re-pinned what you already pinned. It makes you feel that somebody out there shares the same interests with you.

As always, I am Busy with “facebook” which was likened by one member to a “jail” where you sit around to waste time , have a profile picture, write on wall and get poked by guys who really don’t know you. A place where people like your problems and would commenting on them but will keep you hanging. It is a place where you witness how people achieve and celebrate life while you try to update yours hoping they’ll see you celebrating also even if you are actually not. In the end, connecting to people can disconnect you to who you really are because you try to be one of them. Well, at least that is from my own point of view.

And then I am busy with plurk, my life on the line. The latest social network I registered with where I choose not to show other members my personal details; only a screen-name, my gender and country. Sometimes it’s funny how you interact with people whom you don’t know but talk like you already know them for years. You exchange stories then the next hours they’re gone leaving you ideas on how people is from different walks and times.

 The top of this is that I totally lost my passion on writing blog despite the creepy and disturbing thoughts. It seems that those short lines I posted such as “I hate it” and “I’m sleepy” among others was enough to get rid of the disturbing mood I’m into. I post like everyone is interested with what I'm doing every second. That's not true in any way, the hell they care with the movie I watch, the food I'm eating, the mood I'm having.

But it is never enough to keep myself busy. I left myself disturbed. Here I am, back and ready to rant.

Tonight’s challenge is to bring back my old self, the one who find ranting as way of making something good for one’s way of life. To write hoping to make some realizations and attribution. In any way, find answers.

Because despite all the wonderful things that is happening right now I am confused if I truly feel it as wonderful or I just think of it as it is. Am I just here convincing myself?

I sometimes wonder why am I here and where should I supposedly be if I am not. Maybe I can call this “regrets”. That maybe if I’m only good and wise enough I am not here isolating myself in fear nor crying to sleep all night. I should be out there enjoying more of life.

I sometimes wonder if I could still be good and will I ever find my lost ground again. It’s been days of questioning existence; how come? Why then? What should be? It’s been days of daydreaming on all the things I really wanted.

These are all about wanting the things I never had and I never did.

But I can never turn back the time as much as I wanted to. I am not even sure if I can move on as the old me or I should be the other person walking forward to face what is ahead tracking a different path.

I don’t know. I really don’t. I think thirty five minutes is not enough.

Times up! garupale If you'll be needing me, see me in space...

May 2, 2011

Sir, Customer ka lang dito! Teritoryo namin to..


Sa init ngayon di ka na magtataka kung bakit sumasabay ang mood ng mga tao sa panahon. Nagkalat ang mga mukhang pagod, mukhang may sakit, mukhang hindi maipinta. Ramdam ang init ng tag-araw kahit nasa loob ka ng isang air-conitoned mall.

Pero  may alam akong lugar kung saan walang pinipiling panahon ang mga tao. Isang mall na itinayo sa Aklan kelan lang. Dito, suwerte ka na kung ang mga nagtatrabaho na makakasalamuha mo ay alam ang pinag kaiba ng customer at empleyado.

Alas dose impunto, oras ng pananghalian. Kumain kami ng nanay ko sa loob ng isang mall. Hindi naman kami choosy mag ina kaya wag na sana kayong magtaka kung pinili naming kumain sa isang Batchoyan. Deadma sa amin ang panahon, ang mahalaga masarap ang kinakain.

Iilan lang kaming andon at sabihin na nating malakas ang loob na kumain at humigop ng mainit na sabaw sa kalagitnaan ng matinding sikat ng araw. Sa kabilang mesa, may isa pang matapang na nilalang, isang matandang lalaki na halatang uugod ugod na at ang tanging katabi nya ay ang kanyang tungkod.

Aksidenting nasagi ng matanda ang baso na may lamang tubig. Inaasahan ko, gaya ng inaasahan ng nakakrami na lalapitan sya ng waiter para tulungan at asikasuhin. Yon naman talaga ang dapat di ba? Pero asahan na natin ang mga bagay na hindi inaasahan. Isang napakasamang titig lang ang ginawa ng waiter sa matanda at tinalikuran din ito habang ang matanda hindi malaman kung ano pa ang pwde nyang gawin bukod sa pagpunas ng mesa gamit ang basang basa nang tisyu paper. Si Madam Manager? nagreretouch pa po sa counter, deadma lang. hindi mo aakalain na may mga empleyadong gaya nila ang isang sikat na kainan sa Visayas.

Ilang minuto pa ang lumipas ng binalikan sya ng waiter at padabog na kinuha ang mga kubyertos at pinunasan ang basang mesa habang sya ay nakasimangot. Hindi naman kagandahan si ate, hindi naman siguro sya apo ng matandang yon at kung umasta sya ay halos pinapagalita na nya ang matanda. Sana naman hindi pa nya nakakalimutan ang job description nya. Nasaan na ba ang customer is always right? Kung wala na yon, saan na lang ang pakikipagkapwa natin? Ang pag galang sa mga matatanda?
Si lolo, malungkot na lumabas. Si ate? tumayo sa isang tabi at sinabayan ang sound system nila sa pagkanta na parang hindi nya alam kung ano ang ginawa nya sa matanda. Nasa mukha nya ang pagiging inosente.

Sa grocery naman, hindi ka sisimangot dahil sa init ng panahon. Isang binatang lalaki ang naghahanap ng supervisor dahil ang cashier sa kung saan sya nakapila ay nawawala ng ilang minuto na. "Miss, pwede bang makausap ang supervisor nyo?" ang dalawang cashier sa kabilang counter ay pansamantalang natigilan sa pinag uusapan nilang royal wedding "Sir wala e, pakihintay na lang, andyan lang yan sa tabi-tabi", ang sabi ng isa sabay hagikhik na tila kinikilig pa rin sa pinag uusapang kasal. San ka nga ba naman nakakita ng isang saleslady na nagtsitsismisan sa gitna ng trabaho at magsasabing wala silang supervisor. Nang mag walk-out na ang customer dahil hindi pa rin bumabalik ang cashier, at gawa na rin siguro ng galit at pagkapahiya sa inaasta ng ibang mga cashier. Nang makalayo na sya, nagtawanan ang iba pang mga pang empleyado na tila ba tuwang tuwa pa sila na may nag walk out si kuya. Oo naman, talo ang pikon di ba?

Mas nagulat ako ng bumalik ang cashier sa pwesto nya. Tuwang tuwa na binalitaan sya ng kasamahan nya na may isang customer na nagalit habang wala sya. Hindi man lang ba nila naisip na may iba pang customer na nakikinig sa kanila. Tumigil lang sya sa pakikipagdaldalan ng ang isang babae ay nagalit sa kanya "miss pwede bang unahin mo yang ginagawa mo bago ka makikipagkwentuhan". Ng makaalis ang babae, nagtawanan na naman silang lahat. Tuwang tuwa talga sila na inisin ang mga customers. Kaya kayo, kung sakaling maligaw kayo sa grocery store na yon, good luck kapag napikon ka kasi pagtatawanan ka lang nila.

Sa department store, wag ka nang magulat kapag ang saleslady ay nagsalita ng "mahal po yan, baka hindi nyo kayang bayaran"  or "bibili po ba kayo kasi kung hindi baka masira nyo lang yan" o di nmn kaya wag kang magulat kung sa paglilibot mo may mga nakaupong mga saleslady at nagtatago sa tabi habang nakatunganga lang, meron din namang sosyal na mga saleslady na sama sama sa isang lugar nagtatawanan, nagkukwentuhan, naglalambingan. Wag ka na ring mainis kung  pagkatapos mo na pakiusapan sila na e-assisst ka sa bibilhin mo ay makakarinig ka ng "Neng, pa assist mo nga dito, tinatamad ako eh!" habang tinatawag nila ang ibang kasamahan.



Sa grocery pa din, ang sabi sa'kin ng isang empleyado habang naghahanap ako ng maiinom "miss, bili ka ng C2 para kay baby" at biglang nagtawanan. Hindi ko alam kung sa grocey ba talaga ako pumasok o sa isang kanto ng palengke kung saan may mga naliligaw na lasing. Hindi ba pinagbabawal ang mga lasing na pumasok sa trabaho? dapat siguro pati mga asal lasing ipagbawal na rin.

Sa baggage counter, andon naman nakapwesto si kuya na hindi alam ang mga salitang "fall in line". Pagagalitan ka pa kung pinagmadali mo sya. Huwag nyo nga naman syang madaliin at natataranta sya. mghintay kayo noh! kasi busy sya sa dami ng nagpapaiwan ng mga gamit. Kung magagalit ka isang masakit na titig at kamot sa ulo ang matatanggap mo mula sa kanya. Wala syang kwentang kaaway!Kaya cool ka lang.

Minsan naisip ko, teritoryo nila yon, at magagawa nila ang gusto nila. Hindi uso ang Sir at Ma'am, minsan sila pa ang tatawagin mong sir or mam para pansinin ka nila.

Wag ka na ring maghanap ng supervisor, manager at kung sino man dyan ang naiisip mong ipatawag kasi hindi nila alam na meron silang ganon.


May 1, 2011

I said I'm 26, they said I'm 25


I honestly thought I am 26 years old already!


I was with my mother earlier today when someone asked her of my age and she replied “ She's 25 years old”. She confused me because I’ve been telling and insisting people I’m 26. Almost two weeks ago, when I was confined to the hospital I told the man on admission record that there might be an error with their system in recording age. They may look so precise in recording my age as "25Y2M5D" but I insisted that I am a year older than stated. No one disagreed so I thought I was right. 


But then I was bothered that everyone’s reaction seems to agree with me even they actually don’t.


So here are the top three things I did to confirm my age.


  • First, I grabbed a pen and a piece of paper then listed February 1986, February 1987, February 1988 down to February 2011. I counted each year and the last on the list is the 25th year. I counted over and over but the count doesn’t change except if I count the year 1986 as year one but everyone knows I celebrated my 1st birthday on February 1987.

  • Second, I searched my own archive. I posted on February 10, 2010 “Today is my 24th birthday…", which only means I’m 25 this year. Now I wonder where I got this feeling that I already celebrated my 26th birthday.

  • Third, I searched online the word “People Power Revolution” an event which took place in 1986 which marked the restoration of the county’s democracy and by history for our family marked my birth. I was 12 day-old newborn back then and I as told we’re inside the Camp Crame where my father was confined due to a gunshot during one of the ambushes. On February 2011 the country celebrated its 25th Anniversary which only means that I, too, have celebrated my 25th birthday. With this, I remember my life at the camp where we transferred after that revolution, when our house is located at the back of the police headquarters. I used to talk with and hang out with police officers in uniforms carrying guns. They never scared me until I realized they’re carrying deadly weapons but they’ve been my playmates back then. The police officers during those times called me “EDSA” instead of my own name.

Age confirmed!. I’m really 25 years old this year. I have nothing confused about.



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