Hear me whisper

I want  to feel your warm hugs.

I want your sweet kisses.

I want to hold your hands.

I want to hear your voice.

I want to hear random stories from you.

I want to see you smile.

I want to smile back to you.

I want to hear our laughs.

I want your face next to mine.

I want your hands rub my back.

I want to lie beside you tonight.

I want to wake up next to you.
I want to see your face first thing first in the morning.

I want you home.

I'm missing you so bad.

"Sis Boj"

Salamat sa isang ma-dramang dedication...natuwa ako (kahit mali spelling ng name ko, sana ako talaga yan)

E2 pa rin ang masasabi ko sis... Andito lang ako (sa Aklan hehe)  :) Sis nyo ako forever... Iloveyou too sister... I loveyou LC!!!

sister, tubig yan, wag ka mag alala

A cup of Hot Caramel Macchiato for me!

The Third Place

It’s not home.

It’s not workplace.

It’s that special place between where we meet to awaken our senses, to find inspiration, and to make tasting connections.

 (Starbucks Coffee)

Source: google.com via Cristy on Pinterest

Coffee is always the first thing I could ever think of whenever I wanted to break free.  It is so powerful that it can bring me back to the old world where I fit in—unruffled. The smell it provides can steer me to a promising escapade.

And until now it still amazes me each time I think of those moments back when I used to call my coffee buddies so I can have someone to share my worries with--I used to asked for some small talk. Then the moment the coffee is served in front of me it seems it automatically drive away all the sadness. That simple. So the rest of the hours will be spent on catching-ups and chit-chat and there will be no more melodramatic talks. It is constantly serve with magic.  Every cup can make ordinary moments turned into something wonderful.

This doesn’t mean I crave for coffee only when I’m sad. I can spend a whole day motionless as long as I am served with a cup of coffee. A day seems incomplete without having a sip of coffee in the morning. Night seems not over without it also.

I’m a coffee lover and I can have any kind of coffee anytime and anywhere I wanted. Life is so simple; an aroma of it can make me smile, a sip of it can make my day, a cup of it keeps me going. I love it especially on rainy days…in the morning…in the afternoon… at night… while alone… with friends…right now…

Indeed, all I ever think of these past days is a cup Caramel Macchiato and java chips served with cinnamon swirl.

I am so missing those old good times when my friends and I stayed out late at night for a coffee date. 

Love... Love... Love...

A lot of us think that expressing one’s care by words is juvenile. I am one of them. 

What I'm just trying to point out is that there are a lot of important things to talk about than exchanging sweet nothings which has nothing to do with your day but to make you feel good for a minute or two. It may bring you to euphoric state but won’t take you any farther. It may inspire you a little bit but not completely. It will get you boosted to do daily tasks, motivate you to feel good about yourself but that’s just it. As the old saying goes "action speaks louder than words". And action we mean that  in a responsible way.

There are a lot of ways to spice up a relationship...

Source: topit.me via Cristy on Pinterest

(I will not talk against sweet nothings because I believe in them. I love hearing them.  Again, I just don't put so much importance with it like every minute should be spend with such sweetness, that could bore a relationship)

I find it pretty awkward to tell the world out loud that I am in love and I am missing someone. I am not the kind of a person who talks about her partner all day with her friends. 

Being a melodramatic is already my nature but to express this kind of good emotion is way different when expressing love out of a broken relationship. The reason why I seldom write about how good being in love is. Most of my posts then talks about the other side of love like  break-ups and pains.

I hate when I am asked to talk about my love or when somebody accuses me of denying details of my own love life. Denying is a very different story. Yes, I may at times talk that I am comfortable being single despite the fact that I am in a relationship. I find it decent to claim my relationship status being single. Anyway, in legal papers you can be either be single or married or widowed. There is no such thing as "in-a-relationship", "It's complicated", "in-a-love-triangle" and so on.

I realized that stating a relationship status is not so important (but still it is). When you’re good you don’t actually have to label your better half as your boyfriend or as your girlfriend because as long as you do relate with issues then be it. You can be together and their will be this silent vows that will assure you of loyalty. Words, may it be uttered or written in a piece of paper is not enough. Everybody can sign a paper, everybody can talk, but not everybody can be real with what they feel. 

Sometimes some of us chooses to go public not because we are proud of ourselves for having a good partners but to rather assure ourselves that everyone around us is informed that we are already taken and they should not be disturbing us anymore. A sort of insecurity.

Source: xiaoxizhang.com via Cristy on Pinterest

I’ve been there. Some tend to become showy, those we labelled as Public Display of Affection type of lovers. When I was younger I used to be one of the PDA type not because I wanted my partner to feel me but because I wanted to tell the world that my partner is my own— that no one should come near him. I have fallen so mad that I made him my world, and the moment his gone I found myself floating in space because I lost my world. That was funny. It’s not that I don’t want to repeat the same experience of behaving like a 24/7 guard-on-duty kind of a girlfriend. 

I think it would be unfair not to express anymore just because of the past. The issue lies not as to whether you are proud enough to show affection in public but on how you show it to the right person.

It’s not that I don't want to show love. It's the mere fact that  it’s not the people around me I love and I’m missing so why should I tell them? It's not them and it's not my obligation to get them updated. I learned a better way. Talk to the person directly because it is not everybody’s business to hear and see how you love each other. 

What really matters most is to show the person you love how much you love them.

Morning without you (I’m missing you)

I wake up each morning eager to see your face and hear your voice.  I always wanted to hear those sweet morning words of yours. “Anong gusto mong almusal?” like you never fail to ask me what I want for breakfast no matter how late you go to bed the night before or how busy the day is ahead of you. 

Sometimes you sound a little bit annoyed (sleepless as you are). There were times it seems you’re just being obliged. In either ways I find it lovely to get up from bed with you. You are very well appreciated for being such.

This morning I was hoping to see you beside me. I heard you talking to me last night telling me how much you miss me--just like the old times, you're the only one who do the talking until I've fallen to sleep. A sweet melody to my existence. You're always the sweetest person. Warm hugs and sweet nothings which I'll never get tired of is almost real. Almost real.

I woke up today quite disappointed.  I wonder then how it feels on your end to wake up and not have me next to you. But then, I miss you so much.

You should know this, you are always here with me, and I never felt alone since you left.

I am so grateful to find a man who never promised me of good life but someone who assured me to stay beside me and yes, finally,  is willing to grow with me. With you,  I don't need to depend to a responsible man alone to make this relationship work. You made me a part of this journey thus establishing mutual respect and understanding —Thank you.

This is about two people who walk hand in hand to make their journey meaningful and strong enough to surpass imperfections. 

Every step I take with you is beyond belief. Moments I would always love to take pleasure in for it seems it is too good to last. I’m enjoying every single second like no one could come between the two of us. 

Even though I’m scared of not seeing things beyond this promising bliss, I remain to trust what is at hand. Simply because I feel you and I believe you.

What’s the worst that could happen? It’s me waking up one sunny morning and I can no longer feel you. May we stay strong for each other. 

I’m looking forward to see a ray of sunlight through my window, with you and our precious little one next to me.

I love both of you.  

P.S.

I never had the chance to say how thankful I am for being with the kind of person one could always be proud of, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

Since you’re my sister I’ll go wherever you wanted to go, and do whatever you wanted to

I watched three movies today. Oh miss this kind of days where I woke up late, drink coffee during lunch time and fall asleep while the movie plays.  This is weekend—I can entirely feel what it means.   I was also invited to go out by my sisters, which I honestly missed being with, but I was persistent in ignoring them.  Its not that I am tired over the weekdays at work, I just don’t feel going out and go home intoxicated otherwise wasted not to go home at all. Besides, I wanted to break my record to stay alcohol-free—been for a month already.  I don’t want wake up wasted while my surrounding spins—needless to mention the “throw-up-all-day” and “couch-comfort room-couch” moments. So yeah! I contented myself watching downloaded movies instead of doing all that.  My preference is changing and I had nothing to argue about it.

I miss being with my Beta Sigma Ladies

Of course, I don’t want to go out because I’m learning and wanted to practice saying “NO”.  I should really have to follow my own impulse instead of prioritizing other people’s need or wants.  Sometimes, it pays to close our eyes so not to see, shut our mouth not to speak, and cover our ears not to hear—it can make a difference. I’m over being the “Kaladkarin”  type—I mean the one who believes that  Because you’re my sister  and I love you I’ll go wherever you wanted to go, and do whatever you wanted to do even if it will mess up my plans.  This time let’s make some changes because I feel a little tired of risking my own life for the convenience of others.   Don’t get me wrong, this is not the end of my social life.  I Love them and i honestly miss them. I’m not pushing them away and I am not turning my back. I just don’t want to be taken this way—there were times that I was in need that they did not showed up despite the fact that I was always willing to sacrifice when they needed me. (I thought so...) I’ll be assessing if I had done something to be treated this way.  I’ll stand corrected if there is.

Missing my bestfriends

10 years of friendship and counting... I"m the luckiest for having them.

We've known each other since our second year high school way back in the year 2000. Our friendship was and is always bonded by our differences—that is, we are able to load and support each others craziness. We’re indeed lucky we are able to manage that thing. I always believed that we’re also strengthened by time for our friendship has its own flaws. I can’t remember how the three of us exactly had met up. That doesn't matter anymore, my hope now is that we will be counting years together.

So, how are them to me when I’m troubled? Bez she is the frank one, she never failed to slap me with reality. Bez Ellyn on the other hand never failed to ruin my moment of sentiments—she is good at making extreme moods reversed.  

That’s why I wished to be with them right now so that someone will slap me and will make me laugh.

I Will Be There – Kyla Music Code

This song is our favorite. Bez Ellyn used to send me lyrics of this when I'm down :)

White Flag

I can't think of any words to express what is inside me when my silence reminded me of Dido's white flag.
Since this is exactly what I'm feeling I'm going to let this song do the ranting today.

My Nightmare

I know that it is such a miserable sentiment to hope that sad episodes never took place and good ones just remained.

Despite my disgust, I still dreamed of you like you were just beside me. Why is that? There were early morning tears, for I always attempt to make you a call to ask why you’re not home yet. Why you’re not beside me? I always fail to remember that you’re gone for almost a year.

I long for your hug when I needed one.  I missed being protected by someone whose reason to do so is not of his essence. I desire for another night of late talks where I can cry like a child because I’m hurt and I’m having a hard time with my life.

I’m missing you each time I’m troubled. I wished you were here right now.

God knows, I wished to wake up from these nightmares and if I will, I’ll promise myself not to sleep again.