Showing posts with label pretend. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pretend. Show all posts

June 26, 2014

Behind the Scene


I’ll be on my Duty post (this supposedly be every 3 days) at the Emergency Room which will likely last 26-30hours depending on whatever circumstances may come about—my fear is not to be able to manage emergency cases amidst exhaustion and being mentally drained; I am more distress on dealing with some people whom I wish I'm not working with.  

Life behind this profession can be likened to a life of a poor hearted lad whose downfall of other people is the one that is  keeping them high, whose weakness is keeping them even stronger, whose darkside made them shineout and each scar they reveal from people made them beautiful. Pathetic way of becoming great. Our degree wont make most us any kinder (to each other), that is one thing

If this is one of the thousand ways of surviving, I cannot argue then. For there is a need for each and everyone to come out, not just alive but great...by all means


I am not a  perfect kind. I at times can become mad. I guess, as long as we dont messed up during the play and we keep this all behind... we are all doing this good. 

Life behind this nobility...

I shall survive this. 

June 17, 2011

How good is it to be pretending all the time?

Pretending to be someone and something else isn’t a bad thing (not all the time). In nature, most of the living creatures camouflage to remain unnoticed by their predators. They tend to blend with the environment for protection so as to survive, often times remained immobile until predators were gone of their sight. 

Humans on the other hand wear this concealed mask called pretension. For some, pretending is a way of survival. The world is crazy! The more you show the world who you really are, the more they will be eager to see the other side of you. You should know what mask to wear on the right place and on the right time to the right crowd.

Then...consider that fact that the more you show real emotions (especially serious dreaded emotions) the more you condemned yourself to the losing side. One of my college professors always remind me not to present the negative side! (He was referring to my papers) but I think hiding the bad side is also of a good help to cope up with life. It can help you recover from pain easily. Because sometimes, it is the people around you who knows everything about you that can make things more complicated. there are times that even if you already moved on, the people around you will pull you back because there are people out there who find pleasure in your tears.

If pretending is not your business in life, if the term PRETENDING is not listed on your vocabulary as you say (because you think pretending is way of telling “I tricked on you!”) then better wear the poker face. Better to keep things neutral. Don’t react. Don't talk. Stay right in the middle of the situation. Think of first which way to go before moving. With this, you will not be held liable on fooling someone because you did nothing. I personally agree with this. Just like playing the cards where they keep poker face on to win the game by misleading the opponents into making false assumptions. By that, they can make their moves without distractions. 

In life we should learn tricks—a lot of ticks to survive. Pretending and Wearing a Poker face.
When my friends and I went to Tagaytay for a coffee, a performer outside the shop got me thinking about how good it was to be like him pretending. He is a white-faced man. His face concealed with thick make-up but his eyes spoke for him. 
Tired 
Exhausted 
Unhappy 
Ashamed
Yet he still tried to make us laugh. He showed enthusiasm, tried to make faces to entertain thus appeared good in front of the us. 

In one point I told myself he is a  kind of a strong man. He entertained regardless what he really feels that time. Maybe he is doing the same thing in his life. He faces the world everyday no matter how bad he feels. 

In another point, he reminds me of my weak soul…
I pretend to be happy although I am not (then complain why people don't understand me *grin*). Most of us laugh in the hope to produce tons of endorphins because laughter combats pain (not bad anyway). Yeah! Not so bad, we should do that laugh therapy.

What if we do this all the time?

We desire to find a hiding place simply because we don’t want people to know us. 
Most of the time we can’t hide from them so we wear mask instead. 
We want to show only the good side of us… as a STRONG person 
We all struggle to meet the world’s greatest expectation—to surpass life’s battle field. 

How good is it to pretend? 
If I pretend to be deaf, am I not going to hear anymore the rumors that discourage me to talk and speak out? 
If I pretend to be blind, am I not going to see anymore the things I intentionally outrun from the past? 
Is wearing a mask can also hide me from my own pain, aside from hiding those pain from the people who has no other desire than seeing me drown in agony? 

The problem comes not just when we hide from other people. 
The problem comes when we forget the reality. 
The problem comes when we lost in touch of our own selves because we overly pretend to be someone we are not. 
The problem comes when we don’t ask for help because we are afraid to be labelled as weak. 

I guess if it begins to hurt us then we have to take it off already. If we can no longer hear ourselves when we only intended to keep our voices from people in our fear of rejection and discrimination. If we can no longer sense ourselves when we should only be hiding it from people who is trying to harm us in one way or another. Take that mask off!

I don’t know exactly why this wearing a mask bothered me so much today. When I woke up this morning I feel so down…I got this superb emotion for no reason… yet I am fed up hearing people say “you should be fine, there is no reason not to”.   

I was thinking to pretend I’m SO FINE… I AM FEELING GREAT TODAY. YEAH!

March 3, 2009

out of my mind

This is funny,for me it is.

I've been out here for quite a while, just letting things happen. I got no intention of letting people understand what is happening right now...silence...silence... and still... silence...

it is true that I am being half hearted in things I used to loved, unenthusiastic in things I do, and been unresponsive to people I used to be with...but who cares... this is my life under process... one step at a time... I'm starting to love my life.

I am not good and I don't remember I told anyone out there that I was...most of all: I NEVER PRETEND THAT I KNOW THINGS AND I KNOW LIFE...(like the way other people do)


Originally posted at cristymay.multiply.com

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