June 17, 2011

How good is it to be pretending all the time?

Pretending to be someone and something else isn’t a bad thing (not all the time). In nature, most of the living creatures camouflage to remain unnoticed by their predators. They tend to blend with the environment for protection so as to survive, often times remained immobile until predators were gone of their sight. 

Humans on the other hand wear this concealed mask called pretension. For some, pretending is a way of survival. The world is crazy! The more you show the world who you really are, the more they will be eager to see the other side of you. You should know what mask to wear on the right place and on the right time to the right crowd.

Then...consider that fact that the more you show real emotions (especially serious dreaded emotions) the more you condemned yourself to the losing side. One of my college professors always remind me not to present the negative side! (He was referring to my papers) but I think hiding the bad side is also of a good help to cope up with life. It can help you recover from pain easily. Because sometimes, it is the people around you who knows everything about you that can make things more complicated. there are times that even if you already moved on, the people around you will pull you back because there are people out there who find pleasure in your tears.

If pretending is not your business in life, if the term PRETENDING is not listed on your vocabulary as you say (because you think pretending is way of telling “I tricked on you!”) then better wear the poker face. Better to keep things neutral. Don’t react. Don't talk. Stay right in the middle of the situation. Think of first which way to go before moving. With this, you will not be held liable on fooling someone because you did nothing. I personally agree with this. Just like playing the cards where they keep poker face on to win the game by misleading the opponents into making false assumptions. By that, they can make their moves without distractions. 

In life we should learn tricks—a lot of ticks to survive. Pretending and Wearing a Poker face.
When my friends and I went to Tagaytay for a coffee, a performer outside the shop got me thinking about how good it was to be like him pretending. He is a white-faced man. His face concealed with thick make-up but his eyes spoke for him. 
Yet he still tried to make us laugh. He showed enthusiasm, tried to make faces to entertain thus appeared good in front of the us. 

In one point I told myself he is a  kind of a strong man. He entertained regardless what he really feels that time. Maybe he is doing the same thing in his life. He faces the world everyday no matter how bad he feels. 

In another point, he reminds me of my weak soul…
I pretend to be happy although I am not (then complain why people don't understand me *grin*). Most of us laugh in the hope to produce tons of endorphins because laughter combats pain (not bad anyway). Yeah! Not so bad, we should do that laugh therapy.

What if we do this all the time?

We desire to find a hiding place simply because we don’t want people to know us. 
Most of the time we can’t hide from them so we wear mask instead. 
We want to show only the good side of us… as a STRONG person 
We all struggle to meet the world’s greatest expectation—to surpass life’s battle field. 

How good is it to pretend? 
If I pretend to be deaf, am I not going to hear anymore the rumors that discourage me to talk and speak out? 
If I pretend to be blind, am I not going to see anymore the things I intentionally outrun from the past? 
Is wearing a mask can also hide me from my own pain, aside from hiding those pain from the people who has no other desire than seeing me drown in agony? 

The problem comes not just when we hide from other people. 
The problem comes when we forget the reality. 
The problem comes when we lost in touch of our own selves because we overly pretend to be someone we are not. 
The problem comes when we don’t ask for help because we are afraid to be labelled as weak. 

I guess if it begins to hurt us then we have to take it off already. If we can no longer hear ourselves when we only intended to keep our voices from people in our fear of rejection and discrimination. If we can no longer sense ourselves when we should only be hiding it from people who is trying to harm us in one way or another. Take that mask off!

I don’t know exactly why this wearing a mask bothered me so much today. When I woke up this morning I feel so down…I got this superb emotion for no reason… yet I am fed up hearing people say “you should be fine, there is no reason not to”.   

I was thinking to pretend I’m SO FINE… I AM FEELING GREAT TODAY. YEAH!


  1. It is definitely okay to pretend, sometimes.. As you said, it is a way of survival. Animals do camouflage to protect themselves from predators.. pretending to be something different.. lifeless, even, so as to escape the jaws of death.

    Me.. personally, I do have or wear a mask sometimes.. I pretend to be someone I'm not. I would be a hypocrite if I say I have never ever prenteded to be someone else, not even once in my life.. Syempre.. kahit noong bata pa ako, I pretended to be wonderwoman. In highschool, I did put my best foot forward para magpa impress sa professors..

    And true, the only problem with doing pretends.. is if you forget what's real.

    Just like in the movie INCEPTION diba? Yung wife ni Leo.. She pretended to be living in this other world, making it her reality.. while in fact, hindi pala yun ang reality..

    It is okay to wear a mask.. sometimes. And it never hurts to talk to someone.. you really TRUST.. A friend... yung nagiging komportable ka sa kanya.. no pretends. all truth., yung talagang ikaw.. a true friend will surely keep you grounded.

  2. and true, we are lucky to have someone na hindi natin kelangan mag maskara... I haven't seen Inception yet... will try to download nalang :)
    Thanks sa pagrelate Leah:)

  3. I find it halfway full, instead of half way empty- but I don't rely too much on pretending to be someone that I could not be. It helps but not all the time..

    Thanks for the follow. We have that thesame name huh?

  4. hi tim thanks for following back... we should not be rely on pretending to be someone we are not. We have to be confident to show the real us:)
    feels weird, I'm calling someone else with my name :)

  5. I couldn't agree more Tim! I think there should be an "Ethical Code" when to or not to wear mask. :)

  6. Hi Karlie... I think our experiences will tell us when and what kind of mask to wear :) but if an ethical code do exist, please let me know ;)

  7. I pretend when i can't stand the hurt being thrown to me. I just can't let them see that I'm vulnerable in some way. I just can't. But I know when to stop and to control the pretentious me :)

  8. hi joross :)it is really our instinct to defend ourselves... that's good you know when to stop pretending :)

  9. I live all my life pretending. I guess pretending is already part of my daily life and it describes me. I describe myself now as fused together with the word pretending.. ^_^

    But you know what Tim, my only defense mechanism is smiling when someone steps on me..And i don't call it pretending, I call it revenge..

    Smile at them Tim if they step on you.Well, guilt is much more nastier revenge..hehe^_^

    Being fused with the word pretending is not called pretending. For me, it is called change. You change for you to become better and the only way is acceptance. Acceptance to what they say.Don't pretend Tim just SMILE :).

    Uhm, I'm sorry I couldn't give a nice comment for you..

  10. you comment well trowa :) thanx...


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