January 26, 2008

Christian Physician

Our Christian Physician class today was really worth listening to. I really love it and I’ll love it more if we can have it every week…(I am looking forward for our second and unfortunately also the last meeting in the next 2 weeks)
what I appreciated most was…everything actually. It was not a “nice to know huh”—it is actually “ay, oo nga ano!” kind of realization.
Sir Don had cleared to us what it meant to be a physician soon (it is not a joke, this is serious

)—the mission of a Doctor… duty and obligation… values… character…the physician as a healer, an acting priest, a concern citizen, we are never an agent of death, we shouldn’t —we are supposed to prolonged life and see to it our patient is healthy not just physically but as well as spiritually, and emotionally.
"Truth" oftentimes hit us that's why it hurts, Sir Don talked about simple truth today that is common around—those neglected everday actions that can actually bring about great changes in life and will lead us either to somewhere or to nowhere…
Good thing about the revelations of Sir Don was that it is not a hit and run ideas… it hit us (personally I am guilty) but it leaves a mark so we can reflect on it and hoping to correct them in the near future. We are all human; we can’t correct things over night. (oi, defensive)
He differentiated what is moral from legal, defined the law of divine creature and the law made by human… tackled about vocation as a calling, and made us realized that a profession is not just a career for monetary purposes but as an commitment… to become a medical doctor because of our desire of what we are going to be soon in our life and not because of what are going to have. The 3H—the head (intellectual), heart and the hand (we need to reach out). He then talked about marriage and selfishness of love—and I thought it was a pretty familiar subject, all you need is a common sense to resolve the worst part of it, but hearing from him, it is actually not…it was a long love story but the bottom line is that—in everything we do, God needs to be there. There is no private matter with God. We can never run away from him—we should not.
  I should have recorded everything he said; the topic was serious enough for us to understand our pending responsibility in the humanity. And I personally made some reflections out of it and made lots of realization.
That's it, in that short lecture (7hrs)... I learned a lot...and I'm learning still...
Seriously aside,  the class was funny somehow… well, that made it more interesting kasi di ako inantok. I don't want to miss a single point in his lecture. That’s new anyway, I listened very well and the class ended without me checking the time. Wala talagang count down na nangyari, ang saya...

If only all doctors give lecture like him, I’ll learn a lot…(kidding) I know, as he said, the topic was not as demanding compared to Physiology, anatomy, biochemistry and blahblahblah where you need extra effort (four folds perhaps) to understand them better. But the topic has a lifetime effect on us, and accordingly, we’ll appreciate the subject truly later in our life. The class Christian Physician is like talking and chatting to a friend… or feeling close lang talaga kami kaya we all feel comfortable sitting there, listen and laughing out loud with his nabenta-ng-jokes… hehehe some were new to me, and even if not… I still found them funny!

my girls and I after the lecture
:)

Originally posted at: cristymay.multiply.com

January 19, 2008

My Fault

It’s been months since I talked about how I recognized my faulty ways of being a med student on my post entitled “Crazy-Lazy-Future-MD, but nothing had  change. I am still the person doing things  I used to hate.
The exams were bad—including my beloved biochemistry, I made no exemption in my assessment. It was really a promising hell. And I got no man to promise myself that I’ll be better this coming 4th shifting; not this time. Shame on me if I will!
I know this is all because of immaturity, I hate it. I always took things for granted and often times I lost myself. I wish I could make myself hang free—free from madness, hang loose from it.   Damn and shame on me for letting things get into my nerves. It’s my entire fault anyway; I should have made a way not to let things distract me in any way.
 I know I am making another ghost to scare myself—the saddest truth. That’s it.
Originally posted at cristymay.multiply.com

January 15, 2008

Physiology, talaga naman

Failing the Physiology shifting exam today is not bad at all. I mean, I deserved what I got. Besides, the score was even better than what I expected (heheh).  Blame it on me. I know its bad but I honestly did not read my notes last night. I just don’t feel reading those chapters and chapters of “blah blah blah” basics of medicine.
Basic as it is!...and I hope I understand what a "basic" means in medicine, right? (sigh).
Anyway, its good that I failed the exam (though i was the only one in class who feels lucky:-) and oh! I forgot to thank Dra for cancelling my seminar report on Headache! (After I printed it out and after making a presentation for the class) sarcastically aside... it makes me feel good--coz it is my way to shift my "hatred" from something stupid... at least i am hating the right thing:-)


xa cge, gising na si weng! sa wakas kakain na kami...hehehe

Originally posted at cristymay.multiply.com

January 9, 2008

my Pointless Effort

Been staring blankly at my notebook for almost an hour and my system starts not to function properly (again—the three days of school seems to be like a year already.
I am neither tired nor sleepless. I feel good but some things are bothering me right now. Later (I don't know) I might have the courage to write it down, I just don’t know how. Perhaps, I rather keep it myself—the least  (and the best) thing I could do right now.
So the first three days of school was a good challenge, honestly— from the welcome exam of biochemistry (:-) don't get me wrong but i don't expect for a biochem-free Monday anymore), surprised written and practical exam of anatomy (exam-now-study-later system was proven true), the laboratory conference feedback from Dra of course (the time I wished I could switched myself to “manhid-mode” so I could not feel anything while trying to supress my anger), and lastly, the terrifying biochemistry case analysis presentation which in any way made me feel bad. I know those were just some of the challenges and there is more to come.
I believed I need to exert more effort—I just wished I am not the one to blame next time because of my little effort, huh. And I wished I’ll be hearing the right assessment too. My effort may be not as much as one could expect from me but it I believed it was not nothing--or it was really nothing at all, just like those other pointless efforts I made.

originally posted at cristymay.multiply.com

January 8, 2008

Exam-now-study-later

Classes will resume in the next two days. What a sigh! I wish somebody from the government will pass a memo that the vacation is extended; I really don’t feel like going to school though staying at home is not funny anymore and it is getting more boring each passing day.
 The truth is, I haven’t started some of my paper works yet nor did I read my textbooks for exams and as what they have told us “we need to read in advance”. Chances are, I’ll be doing again this year the “exam-now-study-later system”.

So I wasted my time and I can hear “Dra. A” telling us we are no longer a college student and we are not supposed to take things for granted. Well, I wish I could reason out that my time is not wasted; it is only not enough to occupy everything. Right! I’m just trying to justify it.  I know she is right, and she is indeed a good counselor! Oh, did I declare it right?  She really confused me if our class under her is a Guidance Counseling or really one of our Major med subjects.
But the thing is, regardless of Dra.’s word that kills the day of every med student, I had a quality time with my family and of course needless to say, I really had a good and enough sleep: sleep early and wake up so late.  Isn’t it that life is so nice? I really have good perspective and it feels good (despite my academics are getting worst, but I can handle it; Dra is there to push me to my limit). I do appreciate the whole thing today, everything seems so great. Perhaps, those things were just ignored because my mind was preoccupied with my stupid dramas.  Well, I had promised myself not make dramas anymore: I guess it is someone’s choice to be happy or not, and I decided to be happy. Wow! How come it took me so long to realize this? Again, justifying myself, it is better than never realizing at all.
originally posted at: cristymay.multiply.com

January 2, 2008

My Life Starts Today

“Tonight I am going to prove myself how pointless the life I made. And tomorrow as the year shall end, I wished I could understand all the memories of 2007. I felt so sorry for everything that happened. My attitude towards my existence—I cried over silly things and laughed over painful moments—stupid as it is”
                                                                                CristyMay 12-31-07

The year 2007 was not as good as one would like to experience (a shocking one)…with memories that is dragging me down, and perhaps even worst than the year 2004—everything was remarkably bad.

Skipping years are so impossible though. I only wished I could.

But I am thinking of it this way, trying to justify the reality: Surpassing all the horrors and nightmares of 2004 and 2007 is a relief. It made me believe that I can be tough despite of my weakness.

And if I had wishes for this year, I hope I could have all the bravery I need and heart to understand everything that happened and will happen. I pray for acceptance, I guess that is all I need right now.

So that’s it. And today… my life starts.


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