January 9, 2008

my Pointless Effort

Been staring blankly at my notebook for almost an hour and my system starts not to function properly (again—the three days of school seems to be like a year already.
I am neither tired nor sleepless. I feel good but some things are bothering me right now. Later (I don't know) I might have the courage to write it down, I just don’t know how. Perhaps, I rather keep it myself—the least  (and the best) thing I could do right now.
So the first three days of school was a good challenge, honestly— from the welcome exam of biochemistry (:-) don't get me wrong but i don't expect for a biochem-free Monday anymore), surprised written and practical exam of anatomy (exam-now-study-later system was proven true), the laboratory conference feedback from Dra of course (the time I wished I could switched myself to “manhid-mode” so I could not feel anything while trying to supress my anger), and lastly, the terrifying biochemistry case analysis presentation which in any way made me feel bad. I know those were just some of the challenges and there is more to come.
I believed I need to exert more effort—I just wished I am not the one to blame next time because of my little effort, huh. And I wished I’ll be hearing the right assessment too. My effort may be not as much as one could expect from me but it I believed it was not nothing--or it was really nothing at all, just like those other pointless efforts I made.

originally posted at cristymay.multiply.com

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