As I remember, yesterday was December 21, 2009.. But when I woke this morning, to my surprise, today is February 20, 2010… where have I been?
|This is exactly what I'm feeling today|
I started to hate life, but I cant get even… though I wanted to. I cant argue with what is happening in my life right now. There are a lot of forces beyond my control. I wished to manipulate things but I failed… there is no way for me to do that. I have no energy left, I feel weak at this very moment. I called up for rescue but then refuses to accept hand. I want to be alone and be myself for some time, but I was too scared to be left behind. Seconds seems to run like years… so slow that it irritates me…
But am I really left behind or I am just in a hurry to put things right that I missed everything. Did everyone around me had changed or it was I who is different now. It is the same old feeling I got here… and I forgot how I managed to survive before…. I wished to remember because I don’t want to feel this way all the time, it impairs me.
I been missing so much opportunities now a days. I tend to let things happen. "Let it be" moments and "it isn't true" instances. I wished to start another walk of life… I wished to walk once more… take one more chance-- I am not giving up.