February 11, 2010

Birthday?


Today is my 24th birthday… the saddest of all.
 
 I feel weak, empty and scared. I wish I could stop everything, freeze the world in a snap. I wished to be invisible, to run a way, shout out loud and scream. I wished to let it out--strange emptiness from nowhere. Oh burdens of pain, hatred, and regrets I wished I could return you to where you really belong.

I struggled enough. I wanted to be free.

To run away… just the thought of it tires me already. I had no energy left since I been running all my life--been running from pain. I wanted to seek for another hiding place, where no one can see me dying in agony. For some, what I feel is stupid and nothing.

To be invisible. So I can cry, I can shout hurting no one.

To stay disconnected from the world so that no one will remind me of who I am and who I was.

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