April 30, 2011

Because they're too perfect to know what is good for me...

I don’t know exactly what to brand them. They’re the kind of people who simply fond of asking questions about your life that has nothing to do with theirs. They’re all over the place sometimes waiting for you to elaborate what you have told them. They often act like you are obliged to explain your life. As clearly as you can because their a need for them to know.



Seriously, their kinds are annoying.

For me, there is nothing wrong with connecting as long as it can bridge a good communication. As long as they ask because they can relate and understand clearly what kind of person you are right now. It is somewhat a powerful force that can make you feel better, an assurance that you are not alone and what you’re into is evidently normal. However when someone raise a question for the sake of knowing to satisfy their curiosity then I think it is a very different story. The worst comes when they’re not satisfied with what you just did with life. They’ll be leaving you with comments and will give you some “instructions” on what you should do. Yeah right, they’re perfect to know what is good for your life more than you do.

Why is that a lot of people assume that everything good in their life will also be good to yours? Okay, maybe we’re having almost the same issue, but you can’t instruct me to do the same thing you did in order to survive because we are two different individuals from two different world.I am not you and you are not me.

If I were to allow myself to speak my mind as John Mayer suggest with his song entitled “Say”, then maybe this post are going to be violent.

Say what you need to say [x8]
Have no fear for giving in

Have no fear for giving over
You'd better know that in the end
Its better to say too much
Then never say what you need to say again
(Song lyrics of JOHN MAYER)


I’m not that confident though. I can’t write every single word I’m thinking of right now because I’ll be violating the 7th conduct of a blogger that is not to say anything online that you wouldn't say in person. I am still keeping it myself but you do know I'm pissed.

Thanks for this blogger’s code of conduct in guiding me; I only hope to remember this as I go on blogging.

*The Blogger's Code of Conduct 
  1. Take responsibility not just for your own words, but for the comments you allow on your blog. 
  2. Label your tolerance level for abusive comments.
  3.  Consider eliminating anonymous comments. 
  4. Ignore the trolls. 
  5. Take the conversation offline, and talk directly, or find an intermediary who can do so.
  6.  If you know someone who is behaving badly, tell them so. 
  7. Don't say anything online that you wouldn't say in person.


*http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog


April 29, 2011

"emoticons"


Sabihin na nating bored ako.

Bored na ngang maituturing ang isang taong walang ginawa maghapon kundi magsearch sa google ng "HOw to add emoticons to blogpost". Na-open ko na yata lahat ng blog tips at iisa lang ang sinasabi:
  1. First you need to download updated Firefox Web Browser.
  2. Next you need GreaseMonkey Extension for Firefox. After installing Firefox, install GreeseMonkey Extension.
  3. And the emoticons GreeseMonkey script. Finally install the script by left clicking.
  4. Now when you’ll be writing your blog post, you should be able to add emoticons by simply clicking on them. This only works in compose mode, not in text/html mode.
At may ibang site na nagsasabing

The last thing to do is to modify the CSS of your blog to prevent emoticons to have a border: just add at the end of your CSS:

img.emoticon { padding: 0; margin: 0; border: 0; }

*Tinanggal ko na ang mga links kaya sa totoong buhay hindi to makakatulong ang post ko na to sa ibang blogger na nagnanais ring magkaroon ng emoticon sa blog post nila*

Paulit ulit kong ginawa ito, Mahigit isang daang beses ko na yatang nadownload ang firefox 4.0, greasemonkey application at nagdagdag ng kung anu-anong script. Ilang beses na rin akong nag refresh, nag reboot, nag restart...

Umaga pa lang ang sabi sakin "blogger emoticons are ready to use" kaya umaga pa lang yamot na ako kasi wala naman akong nakikitang emoticons sa blogger editor.

Ilang beses na rin akong sumuko, natulog, binuksan ang TV, lumabas na lang ng kwarto para magpahangin... pero tao lang naman ako, gagawin at gagawin ko ang lahat ng makakaya ko para makuha ko ang gusto ko
celebrateMismo! bago natapos ang araw ko, isang blog post ang nabuksan ko at nagsabing kelangan palang naka set sa "old editor" at hindi sa "updated" version ang blog editor para magamit ang greasemonkey tumbuk. Hindi naman ako masyadong nahirapan gile

Lam nyo yon, sakto lang sa maghapon para may mapagkaabalahan, Namaga lang yata ang pwet ko, sumakit lang likod at balakang ko sa kakaupo gatai.

April 28, 2011

Listen...


The line “I have to tell you something” is quite alarming, isn’t it? You don’t have to be brainy nor a nerdy to know that there is a magical event happening downtown, maybe an imagination  created from someone else’s mind that came into words transmitted from one person to another—gossip!!! What is worst about it? It happens during the transfer when add-ons and segregation of details are most likely. How deadly!. 

Did someone already beat an imaginary contender?  Entertaining gossip makes you a loser, that’s what I have learned from my walk.

“Blah…blah… blah…” I heard a lot of rumors lately and all I did was to shrugged shoulders. Honestly it is annoying.  But If I do allowed myself to listen maybe I fainted already due to suffocation, it is too much.  I rather live with annoyance instead of rendering my last breathe pitiful.

There are blossom of rumors here, there, and all over the place. Such unfounded information can bring one’s life into ruins (if entertained). Our relationship had been the target and we’re nearly hit by.

How did I know anyway that the gossip I heard from a “good friend” is far beyond the truth? I simply know whom to believe and whose words to trust. When I was told of the “on-going affair” my partner is having with his ex-girlfriend I thought of confronting him but with due respect I stayed calm. I’m on the process of making my own point logical. My initial reaction can be very bad—realizations are always found at the end of line. I’ll be there the soonest I can. I'm on the other end.


Okay.. that kind of fight won't happen...

Moving on…

How related could the gossip be with the truth? A gossip is simply an altered truth—every now and then it is altered to sustain an existing intention. 

Gossip can serve a warning of an upcoming “break-up”…but if we were to part our ways (not that I wish for) I’ll make sure it’s not just because of gossip but because of the truth.

In any way he must be living hell with me if that was not a gossip. One of the secret you can never keep is to tell the world you fall out of love. Keeping so can make you a prisoner of your own. I believe he is not that dumb to stay if he doesn't want to.
If no one can dictate me whom to spend life with, so do him. 

Why should one doomed himself by staying in the present while living in the past? In reality this only last for a couple of months (maybe during the denial stage). Each is born with an instinct for survival—some may be slower than the other but everyone find way to move on and live.

So when my partner showed me he moved on I no longer had that reason to believe what other people wanted me to consider.

Thank you for you concern anyway :) 

April 26, 2011

Let it snow, Please!



It’s not Christmas yet…and there is no way that a snow would fall somewhere in the middle of summer. How possible could that be for a country located near the equator anyway?

Man! It’s hot! And I am pregnant!!!(do I have to mention that one?) Whew! and so I find myself singing… “Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!” (Just that line over and over).

By the way, my wish yesterday is still on the list waiting to happen: 
To own a freezer, a big one, as big as my room where I can hang out and may be where I can make my most wanted afternoon nap when the sun is at highest.
or maybe there is someone out there with a golden heart that is so good to  donate another air-conditioning unit for my room because the one here is not enough... 
Nah! That won't really work... so... I'll just sing... Let is snow! Let it snow! Let snow...

April 24, 2011

Operation Big Brother...

I can’t remember her name, how old she was that time, where exactly we’ve met but I remember her smile and I remember this was from her:



A fancy wristband I found inside my closet, maybe once the most precious wristlet for her but will forever be precious to me. Fancy it may look around her little wrist but the moment she transferred the bond to mine it became special that brought unsurpassed emotion. A gift made of sincerity and valued with sentiment. 


It was her pure heart who gave me the bond. I remember her saying “Don’t throw this away when you step out from this orphanage; promise me to keep this for this rubber band means a lot to me”. I was wordless that moment, bowled over to say the word “thank you”.  She spoke like it was the most expensive gift a child could offer.

It is a tradition of The Beta Sigma Fraternity and Ladies Corps to conduct “Operation Big Brother”  every December with its purpose not just to show people the good side of being a frat man but also to extend hands free of will—gift giving, foods, games-- just to make the orphans happy. That was the only OBB I attended.


The whole body agreed to visit “Kanlungan sa ER-MA Ministry Inc.” on 2008 somewhere in Laguna. I was hesitant to join the programme with a thought that it would just make sad children sadder by slapping them with a reality that they’re just an orphan contented with a small visit. I was wrong. 




Each kid has their own way to make themselves passionate to us. They never showed discontentment in life. I never heard them talking that they were abandoned by families, rejected by people, left behind by lifestyle.

They possess the power to make simple things priceless as simple as it seems. They can touch heart without knowing how and free from intention of changing one’s life. Life has not to be perfect to be wonderful.

They may be sad but they lift their own spirits not to be doomed in sadness. Inspiring isn’t it?  


At first, I thought that maybe these kids were just overwhelmed by the presents and the foods we prepared. But they weren’t. They were more interested to hear from us… of how good life is outside the orphanage… of how lucky we are with our lives. They were more excited to show to us what they’ve prepared. 

At the end, we we’re the one who was entertained. We were there to extend our hands, we never thought of those children can offer us more than we could.

Some other organizations were still on the list waiting for their turn to visit while we were there; scheduled with only limited time. The long list made me realized that at the end of our visit there will be another me to visit them, another us, and thousands of people like us that will make them forget about the moment we just have. 



I was wrong with that, again. I caught a young lady who wrote a letter to one of our co-member who was not able to come with us that year. So they can remember because they’re all real. That scene made me cry. I never thought they'll be that real, that they know how to cherish two-three hours of acquaintance.

The Kids have known Beta Sigma for quite some time, this visit was already anticipated and some of them were expecting for the same smile they’ve seen a year ago.

That instant, I thought not of the band around my wrist but the little hand that put them in. I was lucky to meet a child whose innocence touches my existence. 


April 23, 2011

Puto and Dinuguan


Who would not recognize this Filipino food?   

Puto and Dinuguan. In English translation: Rice cake and blood stew. As always heard, this two are too perfect for the taste of most Pinoys.

At 10:00 am today my sister went inside my bedroom like any other day that she does since the day I was discharged from the hospital. I am not acting like a princess. Perhaps it sounds exactly like one but I am actually still confined to bedrest. 

She brought me a plate with 10 pieces of “Puto” and a bowl of “dinuguan”.

My first bite was quite confusing. Maybe I heard people wrong; there was nothing special about the taste. It is rather absurd. The two won’t blend, not perfect enough for me; I can still taste them as two different foods inside my mouth. I should have eaten them separately instead.

My second bite? I tried eating a spoon of dinuguan first before I made a bite of puto. I was discontented. I wanted to savour what people are talking about. They seem to be very satisfied after each single bite they had.I wanted the experience.

Still, I tried making one bite after another. Adding more meat on top of puto also failed me.  And before I knew it, there was no more puto left anymore! That happened in less than half an hour, so you can imagine how eager I was to be delighted.

I don’t why it upsets me that much. I messaged my friends on how does puto and dinugan became a perfect combination? And how should it be eaten? Is there a proper way? Dinuguan first? Puto first? How?  A lot of them said it taste really good in any way. Some said they haven’t tried yet (quite a relief that I am not behind). I have one friend who replied me with “try Dinuguan with a bottle beer, it is much better!. That was cool.

I love eating puto. It is actually one of my favourites but not to be eaten with dinuguan. On the other hand, I rather eat dinuguan with rice. Maybe even cups and cups of rice!

I guess I needed more for tasting until I can be able to trick my own tastebuds that it is a mouth-watering as they said so.

Desperate

People always try something even it’s quite obvious… that they’ll never be pleased by the same thing that pleases other people.

Argh! Where does that come from? I was just trying to be pleased with Puto and Dinugan out here!

April 22, 2011

Happy Monthsary baby!


 “Monthsary” is an occasion commonly celebrated by young and deeply in love couples. 

Today is nothing special, it is not our monthsary... not even tomorrow, and not yesterday.  Monsthsary is out of our way. It’s not because we are no longer young, not that we are not in love with each other, and its not that I am against on celebrating such romantic occasion. 

I simply don’t have the idea “when” to celebrate ours. May be on the 1st? 18th? 19th? 20th? 30th? I really don’t know!

So every month is just an ordinary month. We had no monthsary to remind us how we started. 

Well, I have to admit that our relationship is not as typical as one could expect. I was comfortable being alone when he suddenly came. I am comfortable in the sense that I am enjoying the freedom of being a single woman without having to consider anyone in my everyday way of life—freed from demands of relationship. What else could I ask for? I can do whatever I wanted to do, go wherever I wanted to go, and talk on whatever is felt. 

We somewhat established a no-commitment kind of  a relationship. That was from my point of view, I don’t know from his.For me(at first), he was just  “a romantic companion” nothing is special about that.  By that term you will figure out that we never had the chance to assure ourselves  that we are committed to one another. It is actually my personal choice not to assert that it is not serious. There is a silent rule that governs us: “no-strings attach”  and we are tracking a two way street—that is, we can still make special friends as much as we wanted.Ofcourse it doesnt mean I’m dating someone aside from him. He got my loyalty which I never asked that he could pay me back with the same. He was still free to date someone else. Still fair enough for me.

I am not afraid of commitment, but that was the last thing I needed especially I realized how good it was to be free. Aside from the fact that we are on a freaking ground. People around are all freak about us, and I bet they freaked out when we told them we are having a baby so soon.

Things has changed between us. From being not  we became committed to one another not just because of the baby but also because of the connection we manage to established. However the people around remains the same,I may not hear directly from them but their actions would tell of how disappointed they are for the  two of us. For them I’m just that kind of a woman who has a baby in her tummy that sustains this relationship. That  fact is quite depressing. 

The only special thing we got is the mere fact that we both believe we have each other everyday.

Having no monthsary to celebrate with is not bad after all... Everyday seems to be special.

But then, Happy Monthsary to those who are celebrating today!

April 18, 2011

Room 312

Everybody is fine... will be fine in time...

I woke up as early as one in the morning that Friday, 15th day of the month. I grabbed my cell phone on a wooden ottoman just beside my bed to make sure of the time and to check the sent items. I hardly remember what I felt the night before but I am pretty sure I message every single thing to my partner. I hate waking up in the middle of the night for I felt a little lost.  Such a strange feeling that sometimes it feels like falling oneself from a high. 

 The last text message I sent to my partner was an hour ago which means I did not have enough sleep yet. I told him how active our baby was, my lower back aches and I felt so tired despite doing nothing at all but watch any Hollywood movies that is showed on Star movies or HBO channel. 

That moment I felt pain, my lower abdomen contracted more than my baby moves. Moreover, it seems heavy like my baby wanted to push its head out my tummy. I was trying to convince myself that there is nothing wrong with me and my baby—that the pain I felt was a mere part of a normal pregnancy I was trying to tolerate every pinch of the pain actually. I tried that until 5 a.m. until I have fallen asleep. 

But I knew there was something to worry about.  I was tempted to text my partner that the spot of blood I found is freaking me but all I can ever sent him is a text message that says I love him. I was scared. The last time this happened to me was during my 10th week and an ultrasound revealed a minimal subchorionic hemorrhage. I was relieved by a medication that lasted for 10 days and a pelvic rest (no sexual activities all during the medication period).  

At 8:00 a.m. that day my Ob is nowhere to find. I went to her clinic; to my disappointment her secretary can’t even tell where she is at. Her phone is out of reach. I almost send her a message saying “hey doc, are you ok?” sarcastically. I can’t believe no one knows where my Obstetrician is.

From her office, we went to the nearest district hospital where I had my urinalysis done. When the lab technician hand me the result I knew I’ll be having a week with 2 kinds of antibiotics for a urinary tract infection and another for a vaginal infection. 

From the hospital we went back to her office hoping that she can read the result and prescribe me the necessary drugs I needed but she was still out. Her secretary then said she was out for a week already and I'm not the only patient looking for her. Great, isn’t it? The doctor that is supposed to help me with my pre-natal care is not around. And you know what is greater than that? She is the only Ob in town; the rest is all general practitioners!!!

We went home, got my personal stuffs and headed ourselves to Kalibo, several towns from ours, to find another doctor. I don’t have to wait for my Ob to read the laboratory results. I don’t even have the idea if I can find her that day. 

So my mother drove me to Kalibo instead where there are better facilities (and of course where there is available doctor to attend to me). It is a 36-kilometer away from home and 45 minutes ride. In our case, since mama is the one driving, make it 1 hour and maybe another 10 more minutes. Before we arrive, we were informed that she was at Manila and she it is impossible for her to attend to me but she has someone to cover her duty. As Instructed we went to the clinic she told us. Upon checking, OB says I had this premature opening of cervix (triggered by my infections), specifically the external OS. My condition should be prevented or else it can lead me to a premature delivery of the fetus.

An hour later, I found myself in one of the ob-ward of Dr. Rafael Tumbokon Memorial Hospital. I was confined to 312 to have a bedrest, was given intravenous, and medications to relax my uterus and treat my infections.

I am now home from a three-day hospital admission. I was diagnosed with UTI (again) to consider premature labour. It didn’t scare me not until today when everything sinks in. I never realized that I almost lost my precious little one. Since I am only on my 5th month my baby is not likely to survive.

By the way, I went home without seeing my Ob… The doctor that happened to cover up for her just uses the trunkline to check on me. J  

April 13, 2011

Love is something we can never beg for...

Sometimes, it’s easier to say that you’re fine instead of having to explain all the reasons why you’re not
For ten minutes, I rest in silence hoping to cross a solitary ground where I can muse. Nothing happened.

I wanted to break-free more than embracing this concealed loneliness within. There are actually uncertainties masked by contentment brought by the bundle of joy inside my womb. It is the joy that over powers doubt. It is the main reason why I tried not to entertain this doubts.I resolved to neglect all the doubts.

My mind on the other hand is seeking for clarity. It desires for a simple yet defined words that could explain the complications.  Could it be promises? Like an assurance that could otherwise save a desperate emotions.

Could constructing sentences out of a few promising words be enough to build the needed security?  

I doubt.

I was actually considering the possibility of betrayal—to be specific, a past relationship is most likely to regain the warmth of the said lost affection. I am honestly bothered by her who speak out for willingness to return. It took so much courage to do such actions unless very determined.

And I haven’t talk about this yet—of how she is making our relationship unsecured. I couldn't hate her either. In a way, I do appreciate how she is fighting and how she stands firmly for the sake of love.She is very well respected.

So I have chosen to keep things myself not to make matters worse for it can be my reaction (my doubt) to what is happening that can ruin my own life. I felt stupid (part of me disagreed, but my belief holds true) I once told my partner he can always decide, and every decision will be respected without having to explain why and how for I believe you can never dictate someone whom they should love.  Love is free of charge; it is not something we plead, not something to beg for.

This is just a simple choice—unspoken fears—a noble way to love.

There were days I haven’t heard of sweet nothings and half of those days I think of uncertainties.

However it doesn’t mean I don’t believe him. I was thinking that I don’t have to hate him just because of someone wants him back so bad. Yes, I am worried but that won’t make me love him less. I love him more each day despite distance between us.

Each talk we have is a surprise for I don’t expect he’ll make me feel special… lucky... and every word he utters is real. I am thankful. I can’t help but to believe because I can sense how genuine it is. Those doubts seem to be rubbish then.I was even assured but then I know things can happen beyond our control--So I stayed to be real--be open to all the possibilities life could offer.

And that’s reality.

I sometimes hate him.
I sometimes despise him.
I sometimes get jealous.
I am sometimes worried.
She sometimes made me feel insecure.
They both are freaking me out.


But...


I always love him...
and I love him more...
enough for me to believe and trust... 


Source: tumblr.com via Cristy on Pinterest



April 12, 2011

Special Request


A special request to the following to become our baby's godparents:

 Sheena dela Peña
Ellyn Villanueva
 Danielle Vanessa Ereñeta Arisola
Shannah Laminero
Aicee Alvarez
Roa Fuentespina
Christine Cogolio Feraren
Ma. Rowena Novillos
Ronald Esquillo
 Arnaldo Bangalisan
Thomas Albacete
Tets Camingawan
Dominic Pecadizo
Anthony Linsasagin


I'm little now, but I want to grow and be strong...
I want to do great things and make a difference in someone's life...
I want to live for the moment and enjoy the precious things that happen in the everyday and not take them for granted...
I want to walk along the paths that had never been walked and discover the beauty hidden there...
I want to be still and quiet and know that even though I am alone, I am not lonely...
I want to see the world and the majesty that lies therein...
I want to share my thoughts and dreams without being afraid of ridicule...
I want to be special...
I want to be loved and cherished for who I am...
I'm little now, but I will grow, and I want you there with me...


I indeed need some extra hands to help me learn and grow. 
I think that yours would be the best.
'cause Mommy and Daddy told me so.


Will you be my Godparents?

(note: I got the text from a pre-made online card, not my own words)




April 10, 2011

Promise of a new life

 
The promise of a new life 
beams like the sun rising o'er the East--   
Bright, vibrant, illuminating, warm. 
The light you are destined to bring to this world 
has already brightened all our lives-- 
as it is sure to spread to every corner of this land. 
Yet, even as shadow recedes as noon approaches there 
is always somewhere not warmed by the light-- 
how unfortunate these spaces would be if not lighted
by you--the warmest radiance of all.

And, as it is that we cannot but glimpse the brightness 
of our solar friend without fear of blindness, 
neither can we gaze into your brilliance to see 
what so many tomorrows will bring. 
But the promise of discovery makes every moment elapsed 
an eternity of possibilities.

And though we cannot know what bright future
destiny holds for you, 
we can all imagine, dream, ponder. 
Yet, in the end you will choose on what celestial path 
you wish to wander. 
And, such as the stars arise from the collection 
of matter to one venue, 
So will your life be made from what you gather 
from those around you. 
Thus, though the path you choose will be your own, 
the journey of your life will never be yours alone.
 
*by Chadwick A.


 

April 9, 2011

Wonderful days

Yesterday was wonderful,
For I saw a tiny heart beating...

Today I feel wonderful,
for it takes just a soft kick to remind me I am not alone...

And even more wonderful,
For I heard my baby's heart beating so fast...


But I bet tomorrow will be the most wonderful of all...
for I shall see the most beautiful smile...
Hear the sweetest cry...
and  feel the warmest touch...
I love you baby



April 8, 2011

"Singsing"



Minsan sa isang mall sa Quezon City: 

Friend: ang ganda ng singsing, kelan pa kaya ako mabibigyan ng ganyan?

Ako: Ano ka ba, ba't ka nangangarap magkasingsing? Iba na ang panahon ngayon.

Friend: Bitter ka pa rin hanggang ngayon?!?

Ako: Hindi sa ganon, pero nakita mo yang nakadisplay na yan? 3 pirasong singsing... kung saka sakaling mapapasayo yan e di isa sayo... isa sa mapapangasawa mo...at isa para sa isa pa nyang mahal! Nakakaloka ka! Mabuti pa ang shop na to, alam ang mga nangyayari sa mundo.

Saleslady: ay hindi po, design lang po talaga namin yan...(sabay kuha sa isang singsing)
Joke ko lang dapat yon, si ate naman defensive lang talaga :)


Pambihira. 

Madami akong gustong sabihin, madami akong pinapaniwalaan at kanina lang sabi ko sa sarili ko hindi ako iimik. Deadma lang kasi korny...kasi mababaw ang naiisip ko sa araw na 'to...

Pero kita mo naman, "tao lang din ako" at may blog site ako noh :)

Sabi ng lola ko (kasi sa totoong buhay ay di ko matandaan kung sino talaga ang nagsabi sakin) or sabi nga ng bida sa isang pelikula (over!), kung mahal mo ang isang tao gagawin mo ang lahat para sa kanya, ipaglalaban mo sya hanggang sa huli, at higit sa lahat hihintayin mo kahit gaano pa sya katagal bumalik. Sipag at tiyaga lang naman ang kailangan mo para magtagumpay ka sa lahat ng mga pinapangarap mo buhay. At syempre pa tayong mga pilipino ay naniniwala sa kasabihang "habang may buhay, may pag-asa".

Kaya ako, hindi ako magtataka kung balang araw mababalitaan ko na lang na nagkabalikan na ang taong mahal mo at ang dati nyang karelasyon lalong lalo na kung determinado ang isa sa kanila.

Hindi mo alam kung anong mangyayari bukas. Hindi mo alam na sa mga oras na to nagbunga na pala ang sipag at tyaga nya. Hindi mo alam na habang nagsusulat ako d2 dumating na pala ang hinihintay nya. Malay mo naman kasi sa pwedeng mangyari sa buhay mo. 

Hay naku. Kanya-kanyang gawa ng eksena. Kaya ikaw, Huwag kang magagalit kapag mangyayari sayo ang mga sinasabi ko ngayon kasi may moment ka din--pwdeng ikaw 'yong taong hinihintay, pwede din namang ikaw 'yong aasa. Depende lang.
 
Iilan lang ba ang nabubuhay ng tapat dito sa mundo para sabihin sa'yo ng harap harapan na nagbago na ang ihip ng hangin at hindi na ikaw ang taong mahal nila?... na hindi lang pala ikaw ang nag iisang minamahal nya. 

Kadalasan kelangan mo pang mag research or maging tsismosa para hindi ka mahuhuli sa balita. Todo effort lang lagi.

Ilang tapat na tao na ba ang nakilala ko?
sabi ng isa "mag enjoy lang tayo ngayon kasi malay mo bukas hindi na natin kasama ang isa't-isa, hindi naman natin masisisi ang tadhana kung may makikilala pa tayong higit sa atin" 
sabi naman ng isa "Hindi ko maipapangako sa'yo na hindi ako magmamahal ng iba ha...Tao lang ako"
At may nagsabi pang "Mahal ko naman kayong dalawa e..."
Nakakaloka.

Hindi mo alam kung matutuwa ka ba dahil tapat sila o maiinis ka lang dahil proud pa sila sa kung ano ang pinapaniwalaan nila sa buhay pag ibig. Ipagmamalaki mo ba sa mundo na ang taong mahal mo ay sadyang mapagmahal dahil lahat na yata ng mababait at dyosa na nakilala nya ay mahal nya?

Sino ba ang pwedeng magsabi kung sino ang dapat mong mahalin... ang dapat nyang mahalin? at... at...at kung ilan ang pwede nyong mahalin?


Kasalanan mo ba kung mahuhulog ang loob mo sa taong may mahal ng iba at may nagmamahal na? Kasalanan bang magmahal ka ng iba habang may minamahal ka? 

Masisisi mo ba ang mga taong nagmamahalan? (Charing!)

Sino ka ba para mag sabing "isang malaking pagkakamali ang pagmamahalan nyo?"

April 7, 2011

Family


My family ain’t perfect so as the tie that bonds us together. We never had chance to have fun as a whole. We all have our ways, own lives, and own point of views where mine is the greatest—but, I guess they feel the same thing with there’s.

The only typical about us is that we argue and we are all silly.  While we, siblings are all likened to cats and dog, our parents then are the lion and the tiger. We argue, argue, and argue. It feels weird not to.

We live in a house which was never a home. 

When I was younger one of my hopes in life was to own a house with doors since the old one only got three—the one in front, the other at back, then the third for the comfort room—all the rest has curtains instead. I now realized that house made of bamboos and woods having only three doors are far better than our present where we got doors all over the place. Here, we learned how to bang all them whenever we wanted, our simple way of communication. So sweet, isn’t it? 

I’m pretty sure our parents did not teach us to bang the doors. They trained us in a way wherein we walk inside our house very slowly not to make any sound. That’s how strict they’ve been to us. I don’t know what happen then. Maybe it’s our nature to act that way. 

Our main problem is communication. We never compromise. Hopeless. 

In a way, those doors are of help for it made us feel we’re not home alone by ourselves.  

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