August 21, 2010

Since you’re my sister I’ll go wherever you wanted to go, and do whatever you wanted to

I watched three movies today. Oh miss this kind of days where I woke up late, drink coffee during lunch time and fall asleep while the movie plays.  This is weekend—I can entirely feel what it means.   I was also invited to go out by my sisters, which I honestly missed being with, but I was persistent in ignoring them.  Its not that I am tired over the weekdays at work, I just don’t feel going out and go home intoxicated otherwise wasted not to go home at all. Besides, I wanted to break my record to stay alcohol-free—been for a month already.  I don’t want wake up wasted while my surrounding spins—needless to mention the “throw-up-all-day” and “couch-comfort room-couch” moments. So yeah! I contented myself watching downloaded movies instead of doing all that.  My preference is changing and I had nothing to argue about it.
I miss being with my Beta Sigma Ladies
Of course, I don’t want to go out because I’m learning and wanted to practice saying “NO”.  I should really have to follow my own impulse instead of prioritizing other people’s need or wants.  Sometimes, it pays to close our eyes so not to see, shut our mouth not to speak, and cover our ears not to hear—it can make a difference. I’m over being the “Kaladkarin”  type—I mean the one who believes that  Because you’re my sister  and I love you I’ll go wherever you wanted to go, and do whatever you wanted to do even if it will mess up my plans.  This time let’s make some changes because I feel a little tired of risking my own life for the convenience of others.   Don’t get me wrong, this is not the end of my social life.  I Love them and i honestly miss them. I’m not pushing them away and I am not turning my back. I just don’t want to be taken this way—there were times that I was in need that they did not showed up despite the fact that I was always willing to sacrifice when they needed me. (I thought so...) I’ll be assessing if I had done something to be treated this way.  I’ll stand corrected if there is.

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