March 7, 2010

I was inspired...

I visited his blog entries last night instead of reviewing for my pediatrics-2 removal exam on Monday…that's for tomorrow already and I haven't had enough knowledge stored on my failing brain cells. Being eligible of taking the removal exam made me feel lucky despite of the feeling "I-know-nothing-because-I-simply-don't". I was crazy indeed but reading his writings instead of reading Nelson and del Mundo's textbook made me feel a whole lot better. I was inspired.

I remember, one moment at the CAS when we're all in the heights of deciding whether to shift or not to shift courses because of MATH 17 and CHEM 16. He saw me carrying books, not of mathematics but of poetry and literature. He asked me then why stay being a biology student when I loved reading those books and I do loved to write. He confused me. I don’t know what happened…I don't even remember what I told him. The next thing that I know was I saw him excelling in his new life while I struggled to survive being a biology student.

Since then, I started to admire the way he live his life and the way he deals with it. That was success. Being happy of what you are doing, success is not about of "they're happy of what you're doing". He is not happy being a biology student, so do I. He chose to leave and fly, I stayed behind. Because back then I was pre-occupied of what others might think of me--scared of unknown.

Until one of his entries catches my attention --not so interesting one but it interests me though. He was sad, so natural but it honestly surprised me. I never thought of him being tired despite of being lucky. I never imagined him being that scared despite people around him. But who am I to judge him… all I know is what I see--he was him smiling and flying with colors.

What really inspires me was that the fact that he was indeed dealing with reality, and I can feel his sincerity right there. I felt the same thing for so may times… I'm not alone then and even the most successful person I know can feel empty the way I am. He was sad and yet he still manage to live.. He was right, there is no other way to get out but to succeed.

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