Trust to Regain

I'm thinking if I can ever regain my parent's trust (feeling desperate).  I feel like I am such a failure, the biggest one indeed. I pleaded guilty for not working hard and for taking things for granted. I was weighed down by the generosity of my own fate.

I had no idea why I ignored my responsibilities but I'm pretty sure that I really did. My consequences can't even tell and I will not look into it.

For heaven's sake, why should I? I know I did something stupid that is why I am living my life so terribly. What matters most to me right now is for me to figure out how to get my determination back, perhaps my strength.