The Wanted Isolation

I dreamed of peace, and I quest for the inner one. I wished to wake up one morning free of fear and hesitation to face the world. Walk onward to welcome life as what it is— define it as a place where pain and happiness conspires to make a better world. Later in my existence, I wished to be remembered not as the weakest person like what I am today—I desired for a tougher persona.

If not and if I really can’t be tough, I wished I am still the child who enjoyed the silence of the day and stillness of the night.

Living like a doll in a closet, I watched people passing by me, heard them laughing, looked at them cry—let me bring back those good memories and bring it to reality once again.

 How I yearn to be the child in solitude. Perhaps I am just scared of what I am right now making me feel the eagerness to go back in silence.

So true, being in isolation doesn’t mean loneliness at all. It is my life—my wanted one.

This is not my world. Mine is a quite place, where I live alone in silence, where I walk like a ghost and live the way I wanted to live… and my world where no one belittles me.

            Running away from here is tiring. This is reality and I know very well there is no way for me to run away... so I press on and fight to live.

             I have to live this life though I can’t be like the one I used to be

Originally posted at

cristymay.multiply.com