December 23, 2007

Meaningful Death

It was just yesterday that I felt so tired of the world. No tricks, but there are still times I caught myself drowning in pain and wandering into lies of solitude. Moments I felt so light, I feel like flying while entering a dark vacuum—empty spaces, and still, moments of burden. Those are the mixtures of emotion that quivers my whole world. Destiny tried to blend my life smoothly, yet it failed.

I heard them from a distance. Yes, it was laughter I'm hearing, noises I been missing all these days. I heard them all. Whispers of laughter that echoes back to me like a roaring lion. It seems so near, but  I know very well its not.
It was a deafening laughter making me cry. Allow me then to shout it so loud; as loud as I can to pull them out from my system. I always wanted to be free and I been struggling to be.

One more step and I am entering the blissful dimension of my lonely existence. Perhaps, one more step… one million footsteps. One more try of a tiring walk of life. I am losing my spark to fight back. Sorrows of life keep me moving to find death. It was inspiring and it stirred me up to look for one.


            There, I decided to walk away wanting to free myself from a small world of loneliness that isolates me for years. I am seeking for meaningful death, the death of my loneliness.
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