September 2, 2010

Confession of a crazy-lazy-future-"..."

Crazy-lazy-future MD is happening no more. By fault or by fate, chances of  not becoming a future M.D. is way too high. Beyond the doubts that I’m having is an understanding of how I’ve been. My acceptance (perhaps) of what I am worthy of .  "Doc Tim" is not meant to be,...at all. True to the fact that I had took things for granted, I acted like I had nothing to worry about despite the fact that there was, and for being the kind of student who never waited for weekends to party, go to classroom to sleep, go shopping after class, and stayed up late on-line--all of these are proofs that I never valued what I have started. I did lost my determination to become one of the greatest physician of our town. I failed because I prioritized what should not.

Sounds like a denial to defend myself or a justification perhaps, whatever this may be… it makes me plead guilty for something...argh! I do not understand why I'm feeling this way. I'm feeling bad that I struggled  to earn a BS Biology degree, went to a Medical school... and now working as an admin assistant. Isn't that too great? Don't get me wrong, It's not my work per se that makes me feel this bad.

No one told me that I can be one of the underemployed not because of my capacity but because there is such an "employer's fear" of hiring someone who haven't completed her post graduate school requirements  YET--that such level will be as good as a "High School Undergraduate". I am often distracted by my educational background, especially how other people treats me as a college undergraduate.  It bothers me too good and is degrading me. Although I have no intention to defend my profile--because I always believed that no one deserves to access the details behind this journey. I am not delivering a speech to explain what was done. There will never be a public explanation on why's and how's. A nod is enough, I'll let people believe what they want to believe but still I am going to fight for what I think is right.

2 comments:

  1. may mga bagay na akala natin sa una ay tama... nalalaman na lang natin na mali ito pag sumablay na...
    at may mga bagay na sa una ay mali at naitatama pag sumablay na...
    huwag masamain ang pagsabi minsan ng mga "sana, ganun, ganito"
    minsan yan rin ang mga katagang nagpapalakas sa isang tao. kung sa ngayon ay nabibilang mo na ang mga beses na ikaw ay nadapa, hindi rin naman siguro masama ang pagiisip kung dapat ka na bang bumangon...
    pagbangon para itama ang mga kamalian... itama ang mga bagay na hindi sumangayon sa kagustuhan mo...
    minsan ayoko maniwala sa salitang TAGUMPAY, kase para lang yang telebisyon na may nakakabit na nakaw na cable, malabo... hindi klaro...
    hindi ko pa man natatamasa ang TAGUMPAY, alam ko na nakukuha ito ng LIBRE... tax free...

    ...tara, kape tayo. ^_^

    ReplyDelete
  2. Salamat kaibigan...
    Tama ka! Hindi pa naman huli ang lahat para gawing tama ang "inaakalang tama"... balang araw...

    pero sa ngayon, tara!...kape tau!

    ReplyDelete

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