The Journey of An Ordinary: A not so blue sunday

March 15, 2010

A not so blue sunday

I had list on what to do today

Have my hair done
or visit a friend, or relatives for a change
Or clean my room
And Attend a mass
Or better read a chapter of Harrison's
then post a blog on whatever under the sun
Maybe I could Sketch something
Read and laugh again at U.P. overheard?

So many options but none among from my list had made my day. Earlier I found myself crying again. I felt so empty and sad. I heard myself begging to Him to stop challenging my life. I surrendered. But I guess I had no choice but to fight against life's uncertainty.

Yesterday my option was:

To attend the 2nd birthday celebration of my friend's son
Or meet my high school friends for a little reunion, it's been years that I haven't talk to them anyway
Or go to a bar with my cousins

My day ended without telling them that I can't make it and why I can't. I simply don't want to explain. I hate explaining myself. I spent the day at the mall somewhere in Alabang. Just like the old days when I can't endure the emptiness--travelling or go Malling is always the best option for me. If each elements in this world could only conspire to make me feel better, then I should not be there walking alone like a "zombie" along with busy "people".

I was in my drama-mode when a friend whom I considered one of my best friend call me up and talked about his girlfriend and their ups and downs for 30 minutes. In between this moment he'll say "it should be you" "If I knew, then I should...", *sigh* what a day. Sad. As a friend I told him they'll be fine and whatsoever a good friend could advise to save their relationship. Sincerity assured but the ironic part of it was when I utter to myself "I wish I am not a good friend to him" *sigh* who could not be a good to him anyway, when we're in high school, I used to call him in the middle of the night because I can't sleep; when we're younger than we are right now he became my official shoulder. He never failed me yet. I prayed he won't.

But then again, today is not at all sad, partly it isn't. I enjoyed my day with another friend who called because he was bored and his girlfriend is not around. Nice, why do I ended up like a clown making everyone happy? *kidding!* We ate, watched a movie, played arcades, and bottles of beer. I somehow feel great that I can go out with friends and talk to them anytime I wanted.