Nightmare

The Medicine Auditorium was occupied with Doctors from different departments gathered for an Anual Clinico Pathologic Conference when I arrived. It was an overwhelming crowd. I am actually contented being seated at the back where I had a perfect view of what everyone is doing.

Today I thought of my younger self, back in time when I am fuelled with determination. One fine young lady, I supposed, bursting with strong points and promises. I was once standing in front of the crowd voicing my eagerness to someday wear a white coat with a stethoscope hanging on my shoulder, top of this is completing my name with 2 letters added after my  father’s—M. and D.— letters that empowers a good reputation.

The Class prophecy I read in front of the crowd (which I personally wrote) was the only way I could tell the world that I have a dream—that I wanted to be someone if only given a chance. During those times, it was rather impossible for someone like me to afford a Medical School, and survive it as well.

I can specifically picture out how gloomy I was to be listed as BA Psychology when all I wanted was a Science Degree in Biology as a Pre-Med course even though I was not assured yet of pursuing Medicine. I finished BS Biology and Medicine too. I was always secured. I always believe in myself. I am strong. I was once undistracted.

Today as I return from a 6-day hiatus, I remember all these. I desire to be revived. I want to breathe once again, of good hope.  I need my nerve back.

But how can I possibly finish my end when I am, in reality suffocated with anger? There, I found myself running away from the auditorium after being reminded that I'm shattered. I fail to compose my intentions. I was made-up to regain my strength but still too weak.

I found myself crying as if this agony cannot be fought. What really hurts most is a part concealed until becomes a little obvious…that I’m losing myself along my fading dream.

Time travel: The Crêpe I made in Boracay Island

 

I nearly forgot the name of the french restaurant I've visited back in 2009 somewhere along the beach front of Boracay Island. Prior to this, I have to search on-line, typed in "Crepe at boracay" knowing it serves crepes.

And so I remember Ti Braz, thanks to Google search engine for reminding me of my failing memory. I was actually there to pay my friend a visit, not to eat. Its not the usual food that could satisfy my hungry stomach and its not even the kind of place I'll hang out at.

The demonstration of this and that

Can I write something like "when the cat is away, the mouse will play"? I wrote it anyway.

Since her boss was out during my visit, no one reminded us that visitors are not allowed during working hours. There goes my friend, a very typical employee together with her very typical friend (that's me tolerated her).  Why so typical? A lot of employees are halfhearted nowadays, they only do good at work when someone is supervising. When there is none, they forget rules. "That is a typical employee is all about and a typical friend says this-->" Good thing I'm just a friend trying to have fun--I'm a little conscience free.

So....as I was really tempted to help her because she seemed to be having fun while working, she allowed me to enter to their "employee only" zone. She taught me and had given me one good chance to make my own yummy crepe free of charge *wink-wink*. Such a perfect treat, isn't it? :)

This is not my ordinary Pancake

Mango Crêpe with Vanilla Ice Cream and Chocolate Sauce on Top

 I made one for myself (with a lot of help of course, my friend did the final touch) I only had the crepe done by spreading the prepared mixture onto a flat circular hot plate using a spatula. The making wasn't easy, I think it requires experience and skills (a lot of it) The idea is to distribute the mixture evenly until a very thin cake is achieve without tearing them off. The one I made wasn't perfect, what do you expect for a first timer?!? (now I'm being defensive for not making it right).

More than having a free mango crepe? It was really the the preparation that made it special. 

Si Nanay

I used to call her Nanay...like everyone does.

She is my Aunt actually, my mother’s eldest sister. The person behind my mother's success in life as I was always told, "hindi ako makakapagtapos ng aking pag-aaral kung wala si Manang" hmm...that part is a long story. I'm not going into details.

Earlier, I wanted to talk here not as one of her niece but as a person who sees her as a good individual. I wanted to go out of the circle for once and will speak as another person… but I realized that won’t change anything because I think that we all look up at Nanay in just the same way whether we're part of her family or not.

Me, Nanay, and Mama

She is not a potential saint which in her conviction there is none. Being a born Adventist she doesn’t worship anyone other than God in heaven—so I guessed it won’t make her feel good if I considered her a future saint because we should not worship anyone other than God (One lesson from her). That’s why I’m hot going to worship her…if it happens that by the end of this post her name will be uplifted then that is just because she deserves a good testimonial.

It is in her nature to help the needy. She has the ability give, the power to bend her back, and has the talent to sacrifice.

Ask Nanay to make you a dress—you’ll have it in no time. She made me hundred of dresses already since I was little (From casual to school uniforms, party dresses, Prom gowns, etc.) and I am thankful for that although there were times I despise her style, still I wore all of them. Ask Nanay to pray for you—she’ll be singing songs of praises too. Ask Nanay for knowledge and wisdom—she’ll guide you to come close to God to attain that.

Experience wise, I’m pretty sure she made it through a lot of hard times. That’s why she understands. That’s why she helps. That’s why she sings amidst the trouble… I bet she been through one horror after another. She has a lot of untold stories that made her that good and that strong. 

Her life today can tell...no one will argue but everyone will agree.

The balloon that symbolizes the desire of each family member--They will fly as high as they can together

Today in her 70^th birthday (having 5 children, 12 grandchildren, and 3 great grandchildren on her side) Nanay is a picture of a contented happy woman.

Very Inspiring...

Seeing her smile today, I can’t help but to wonder whom to consider lucky. Is it Nanay for having a successful family or her family being raised by Nanay thus became successful? I guess both sides feel exactly just the same—proud of each other.

My mother decorated this cupcakes and cakes for Nanay...

I'm kind of a big deal, but not actually.. hehehe
I just wanted to show I'm also proud being part of the family

Success is relative

SUCCESS IS RELATIVE

 I saw this statement printed on the shirt of an acquaintance friend. It is an eye-catching statement perhaps because I myself am a great believer of it.

I always had an argument with a friend or for the worst with someone who is different—which can make a discussion even harder to handle—whether to quit a profession, to settle down instead of finishing college for a degree, to end a relationship, to change plans in the midst of accomplishments among others is the most impractical decision one can ever made. I believe it is not always the case. That makes success a relative one. Everyone can become successful in their own ways. There are things that can make other people happy, but that very same thing can also be a reason for the depression of others. We can never tell and we can never judge unless a person declares he feels happy and contented about his life.

I know a person whose great want in life is to raise good kids and build a happy family. Her choice of quitting school is ridiculous. For some people she was considered a failure and a disappointment to her family. But she had never live her life like how others did.  Instead, she lived to her dream and showed the world how successful she been for having a simple yet happy and contented family.

True to that, you can never assume if a person had failed or had succeeded. To carry a suitcase, to wear corporate attire, to live in a mansion, to afford signatured stuffs, live in luxuries, to travel millions of miles, to shimmer with jewelleries, to attend to a most prestigious school, to work with influential people can never tell a person if he is successful. On contrary, to wear old rugged jeans, to buy imitation items, to stay for so long in a rural area, to work in a field, stay late to work harder to earn a living, to quit school, to marry young is not enough to tell a person had failed.

I'm not good at this, but I always believe that as long as you set goals and had met them and is trying to meet the rest, you are doing good.

Each and every one of us is a unique creation. My hope is that every one of us can appreciate the beauty of individuality.